For when 36 chapters just wasn't enough.
Oneshots, other stories and stuff set in the Reality Leak AU Universe.
I would recommend reading Reality Leak first, but obviously I can't tell you how to live your life.
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THE BONUS TAPES
One of the initial ideas for Reality Leak, written up in all its beta glory.
Woz and Target Employee's relationship.
Scott catches Woz. And the world doesn’t end. He’s stuck now, isn’t he?
Where’s Woz gone?
The memory sticks around.
Woz has a hard day. Target keeps him company.
Scott thinks about... himself.
soon
One of the initial ideas for Reality Leak, written up in all its beta glory.
---
Non-canon/canon divergence
Features some blood
Scott woke up. His vision swam with blurriness as he blinked and lifted his head from the keyboard he had been half-using as a pillow.
Despite only just gaining consciousness, a headache began to make itself known in his skull, making him wince.
Slowly, he reached up to massage his forehead with his fingertips.
In front of him, his monitor glared at him with its bright light, causing him to squint against it.
His aching head, sensitive eyes and pressure in his joints and sinuses were concerning. Scott scrunched up his face in displeasure. Was he sick?
On cue, he felt the telltale cold trickle of gross, runny snot begin to pour from his nose. He grimaced, grabbing blindly for a tissue from the box on his desk. Was it always so bright down here...?
Moodily, he smeared the tissue over his top lip as he slowly wriggled his computer mouse with his other hand, dismissing the screensaver. Hopefully nothing had closed or crashed during his doze. He didn’t want to lose any work.
Absently, he glanced at his tissue, but paused.
The dark stain covering the material was... not expected.
Scott’s eyes fluttered with confused blinks as the cogs turned lazily in his brain.
Nosebleed, he finally landed on, before trying to remember how to correctly deal with one.
Was it... pinch and tilt your head back? Tilt your head forwards? Was he supposed to pinch his nostrils or further up his nose bridge...?
His eyes drifted back to that tissue.
There was something not right about it. He blinked again.
Oh....
That blood was not red.
But... that was stupid. Why would blood not be red? It’s blood. Blood only comes in red. He was being stupid.
But... that’s what he was looking at. He was looking at a tissue covered in not-red blood. So clearly blood could come in other colors that weren’t red.
A small voice at the back of his head reminded him that he was colorblind— surely he was just... seeing something wrong?
He ignored the other part of his brain that assured him that he knew what red was, as he reached for his phone.
Scott aimed his camera, snapped a photo and quickly typed out his question in one smooth motion.
‘Is this red?’ He sent to their friend group chat.
There wasn’t an immediate response, causing Scott to sit and stare at the idle screen, drumming his fingers absently against the back of the case.
Those three dots appeared. Eric was typing. Scott bit his lip.
‘No? Thats blue. Is that paint?’
Scott’s heart stuttered.
Blue?
What? What?
What did he mean blue? That shit just came out his nose! A nosebleed!
‘Are you sure?’ He was already hitting send before thinking about the kind of questions that would generate.
He stared at the tissue again and swiped under his nose. The blood clung to his hand, the dried flakes sticking to his skin and the fresh liquid leaving a gross smear.
Scott’s eyes hovered over Eric’s latest response.
‘Yeah I’m sure’
Something awful was sinking in his chest as he ran a hand through his hair. He’d woken up and gotten a blue nosebleed. Blue blood.
So maybe he really was going crazy.
Maybe he’d just been working too hard recently. Too much time spent in front of this damn bright monitor and poor-quality-pillow keyboard.
This was just... a bad dream. Or he was seeing things. Probably just seeing things.
He tapped his fingers against his phone case again, thinking.
‘Soooo.... not normal this came out my nose then’
One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Five seconds. Fifteen seconds. Thirty.
...Alright, so maybe sending that wasn’t a great idea.
Finally, he got a reply. A simple ‘what?’.
Suddenly, his screen flashed with an incoming FaceTime from Eric himself, which he was quick to answer.
Scott spied himself in his camera preview and winced. The shadows under his eyes made them look sunken and the blue that was now smeared all over his top lip contrasted harshly against his clammy, pale skin.
“Uhh... hi,” he smiled weakly.
Eric squinted at him. “You weren’t kidding,” he said.
“Ah—no,” Scott grimaced. “No I was not.”
“You don’t look too good, man. Are you alright?”
Scott bit his lip, considering his options. Well, at this point... he might as well fess up.
“No... no, not really. Only just woke up, took a tissue to the nose and... it’s blue, apparently. Blue colored blood.”
Eric frowned intensely at his friend. “Alright— how about— how about I come over real quick? And just check on you? Is that alright?”
“Um... yeah. Yeah. Uh— come around, I’ll let you in.”
Scott’s phone pinged with another message from the group chat, from Sam, requesting that someone fill him in on what was going on.
“See you soon,” Eric nodded decisively, already hanging up.
Scott opened the chat again, typing out a short explanation as Eric confirmed that he was already on the way. Sam promised that he’d be around as well as soon as possible... once he was out of work for the day.
***
Eric strolled up to Scott’s front door, quickly tapping at the doorbell. He shuffled his feet.
The image of his friend from that call stuck in his head. He’d looked... diseased. The bearded man couldn’t help wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He’d even sounded wrong.
Patiently, he waited outside the door, growing more and more agitated by the second.
What if it was something really bad? Well, duh— of course it was something really bad! Scott had blue blood! Someone could correct him if he was wrong, but he couldn’t think of a single illness or problem or disease or whatever that caused someone to have their blood change color as it leaked outta their face.
Eric was just considering ringing the bell again when he finally heard some signs of life from within the house.
Infuriatingly slowly, the door creaked open. Scott’s gaunt face peered from around it.
Eric blinked at him. “Holy shit— you look even worse!”
Scott winced. “Uh— I— yeah. I feel a lot worse since you... uhhh... since you called.” He scratched at the back of his neck. “It bled again,” he gestured vaguely in the direction of his face with a weak hand.
He was right; there was a significant amount of blue staining his face, now. Any person without context would assume he’d tried snorting paint and failed.
Eric opened his mouth, but was interrupted on whatever he had planned on saying by Scott having a sudden coughing fit.
Scott leaned against the door as the chesty coughs rocked the smaller man’s entire body.
Eric shook his head, mind now made up. “You’re definitely super sick. I was gonna make sure you were tucked up on the couch with a blanket and some water or tea or something but I think... I think we gotta take you to the hospital, actually.”
Scott frowned. “Hospital...?” He mumbled. “Oh, great...”
Eric shooed him inside, closing the door as he grabbed his phone from his pocket. Quickly, he opened up his messenger app. By now, everyone had joined in on the ‘being concerned for Scott’ train.
Halfway through typing out his message assuring Dominic that their next destination was the ER, he heard a thump.
Eric whipped around, unsure of the source of the noise.
Then he saw it.
“Scott!” He yelped.
The other man had gone from being slumped tiredly against the wall to collapsing into a heap on the floor.
Eric rushed over. “Scott? Are you okay? Talk to me,” he grabbed him gently by the shoulders, unsure about moving him too much.
Scott made a weak, wheezing sound and he squirmed on the ground.
Eric watched in horror as more blue blood poured from his friend’s nose, beginning to dribble sideways down his cheek to pool on the floor beneath him and soak into his ear and hair.
Scott made that wheezing sound again, and it turned into a laugh.
Eric wasn’t sure what he could possibly be laughing at right now.
Scott grinned weakly, catching his sharp blue eyes with Eric’s. “I don’t wanna alarm you but I’m totally seeing— haha— I’m totally seeing a blue border right now.”
Woz and Target Employee's relationship.
---
Second half takes place just before and during Reality Leak Chapter 30
The Target Employee shuffled a little closer to Woz with a relaxed sigh, winding his fingers through the other’s digits in order to crush their hands together. Woz grumbled half-heartedly, using his shoulders to slightly adjust the patterned blanket that was draped snugly over the pair of them. He squeezed Target’s hand.
“I told you this would be nice,” Target murmured.
“It is,” Woz hummed, submitting to the urge to place his head on the other man’s shoulder.
Target shifted his hand, allowing his thumb to brush softly over their entwined knuckles. Woz smiled, curling himself up further into their shared spot in the corner of the couch.
Woz tilted his head up towards him with a small but cheesy grin. “It’s always nice when you’re around.”
The Employee laughed lightly. “I could say the same about you,” he teased.
Woz giggled. “I wish you were around more often. I wanna spend all my time with you.”
“What can I say? My manager just hates love,” Target sighed, still keeping his grin and pulling Woz closer. “As long as you’re around here, I’ll make sure I’m around here too. Whenever I can.”
The smile flickered off Woz’s face. “What if I wasn’t around here, though?”
“Well then I’ll just have to find you wherever you are. I don’t mind being seen on enemy turf when I’m off the clock.”
“But what if I... wasn’t around, wasn’t around...?” Woz asked tentatively.
Target frowned, glancing down at Woz, who avoided looking back. “...What’s wrong?”
“What if...” Woz trailed off, moving away. “What if I’m over there?”
Target’s face fell. “Oh.”
The pair remained quiet for a moment.
“I guess I’ll just have to wait for you to come back, then,” Target announced.
With pinched eyebrows, Woz turned vaguely, catching eyes with the Employee.
Quickly, Target leaned forwards to peck a kiss onto his boyfriend’s forehead.
Woz spluttered, shrinking with rosy-colored cheeks into a flustered ball.
Taking his opportunity, Target scooped Woz into his arms and nestled him on his lap, tangling the two together in a mess of soft blanket fabric.
Woz squirmed, still blushing. “No, don’t,” he whined. “‘Cause what if we swap and he—”
Target shushed him. “That’s no way to live your life. If you swap, you swap. He’ll just have to get over it, alright? Not your problem.”
“It’s just awkward, though... because of Dominic...”
“Well, the two of them understand the circumstances, right?”
“We haven’t... really talked about it all yet. Like, properly... And you know it’s been weird recently...”
Target shook his head. “Well... doesn’t matter. They’re cool. They’re not gonna get mad.”
Woz shuffled. “I guess...”
Target gently grasped Woz’s face, running his thumb over his cheekbone with the utmost care. “Don’t let something bad ruin a good thing,” he hummed. Slowly, he tilted the other’s head up so that they could meet each other’s eyes.
“...Okay,” Woz promised.
“And if you’re still worried, just remember that this whole situation will be over faster than you think.”
***
Woz found himself staring at his hands. Sam and Eric were off to the side, engaging in a quiet and mostly one-sided conversation. But Woz could only focus on the blood on his hands. His own blood. Yet, at the same time... not his own blood.
He wondered how much of this hand blood was from the actual fight, and how much was from the... end of the fight. The broken skull.
Honestly, he’d barely looked at the body. Well, he looked at it... but didn’t really see it. Had there even been much blood on the floor? It’d seemed like a clean injury.
Head damage was dangerous, you know. One knock to the skull in the right place and you could... die.
Dominic sat down next to him. He’d returned from the kitchen with a bowl of clean water and a towel.
“Let me see,” the man motioned towards his hands.
Such a small part of him wanted to refuse.
He’d done this. Why did he deserve to have the evidence of it washed away so easily?
But another part of him reminded him that Dominic was just trying to help. Just trying to do his job.
He gave Dominic his hands.
Swiftly yet gently, the wet towel was scrubbed over his fingers and palms until they were thoroughly cleaned in no time at all.
Finally, Woz made eye contact with the other and the concern shining from his eyes almost overwhelmed him. Woz glanced away.
“What happened to your face?” He stuttered out.
Dominic frowned before brushing his hand over the dried blue blood on his skin. His eyes widened.
“Oh, there was... a thing. Uh... a bad nosebleed. And then I smeared it everywhere. Sam and Eric need theirs cleaned up, too.”
Woz returned the frown. “But yours is so much worse. There’s so much... more of it.”
Dominic shook his head. “I was just in the wrong place. I’m fine.”
“If you say so...”
Biting his lip, Dominic sighed. Half-heartedly, the wet towel was scrubbed over his face, clearing off most of the blood, but missing the flecks of blue that still clung to his beard and mustache, as well as the cracked flakes that nestled themselves in the creases of his skin.
“C’mon—your turn now,” he said when he’d finished, holding up the dripping towel, ready to clean Woz’s multicolored face blood.
“What about those two?” He nodded towards Sam and Eric, who had concluded their conversation and sat down. “You said they needed cleaned.”
“I’m sure they don’t even remember that they’ve got blue all under their noses. Trust me,” he replied quietly.
Reluctantly, Woz allowed Dominic to smooth the towel over his own face.
As he worked, Woz couldn’t help himself from staring into his eyes.
Misunderstanding his gaze, Dominic furrowed his eyebrows in concern. “Don’t worry. It’s over now,” he reassured quietly.
Woz felt his heart shattering into thousands of tiny pieces. The memory of a patterned blanket. Familiar words and a familiar face. But this wasn’t the same man.
He was stuck here now. Wasn’t he? An infinite number of miles away from his home. And an infinite number of miles away from the people that made it home.
From the person that made it home.
How long until they’d be able to see eachother again?
Woz was sure that the answer to that was... ‘never’.
If he had known that the last time would be the last time, he wouldn’t have wasted it with his worrying. Wouldn’t have squandered the limited time they’d had left together.
But he hadn’t known it was limited.
And that was the point, wasn’t it?
He never knew anything. He’d always just assumed that his small world was all there is. But now he knew that it wasn’t. The world was so much bigger than he ever could have imagined but at the same time it was so, so small.
He wanted his small world back.
And then Dominic’s hand was on his chin, tilting his head.
“Did I already get it all?” he was asking.
Another reminder that it wasn’t him. Dominic was still just doing his job. It wasn’t his fault that he looked like—
Woz felt like breaking down. “Thanks,” he murmured.
Scott catches Woz. And the world doesn’t end. He’s stuck now, isn’t he?
---
Non-canon/canon divergence, alternate fic ending
Scott saw the pit open up beneath Woz. But he was already diving— reaching out to grab him. The sharp pain in his ribs knocked the breath from his lungs as he collided with the floor.
He slid slightly— how fast had he been moving?— making it to the edge of the hole with his arm flung out.
Time seemed to slow. Scott could swear that seconds were passing between each heartbeat.
Then, his fingers wrapped around Woz’s arm and there was a hand holding on to his arm and Scott was being yanked forwards and down and he was going to fall too and—
More hands had his ankles and his shoulders, steadying him from his precarious position balanced halfway over the edge.
Scott breathed out. And Woz looked up at him. He was safe.
But it wasn’t over yet.
His nervous, sweaty hands could slip at any second. And then Woz would be falling, falling, falling.
Scott tried to move himself to a better spot, but almost overbalanced. He was chewing the inside of his cheek, contemplating, as he locked eyes with Woz.
The thought of an identical doppelgänger no longer scared him.
“Scott.”
In fact, he didn’t really view Woz as his doppelgänger anymore. Not really.
“Scott, please.”
He wasn’t a doppelgänger or a character, nothing like that.
“You’re gonna fall with me. I don’t want that. I’m going to disappear anyways, even if you get me out. ”
No. He could say with certainty—
“I don’t wanna lose my new brother,” Scott choked. “Before I’ve even got the chance to meet him.”
It was so quiet. No dramatic rushing wind, or the thunder of an earthquake. Just quiet as Scott carefully pried his other hand from its iron grip on the floor.
“That’s okay. I got to meet you,” Woz bit his lip. “Which doesn’t... sound great, but I know there was a lot of stuff that happened and that you said that you didn’t really mean.”
Scott chuckled despite himself, the pressure on his ribs turning it into a wheeze. “Yeah?”
Woz smiled.
Scott tried shuffling himself again, using Eric’s steadying hand as security. Slowly, carefully, he reached down with his other arm. Woz’s eyes widened.
Scott grunted. “Swing up, quick,” he wheezed out.
With perfect timing, Woz squirmed, reaching his other hand up to meet with Scott’s as he reached down. They locked arms with each other.
Eric immediately hauled Scott back. “Help! He’s got him!” he called to the others in the room.
Scott kept his iron grip on the other man as the pair of them were dragged backwards and up and— oh my God, they were gonna do it.
Woz laughed breathlessly.
“I got you,” Scott promised.
And then Woz’s head was over the edge and he was using his elbows to push himself up. Sam and Dominic were grabbing under his arms. And not once did Scott break eye contact.
He still hadn’t let go, not even when they were both three feet clear from the pit to the abyss.
Scott was breathing hard. Something seemed wrong— like at any second some kind of... force or a creepy hand or something was just gonna grab Woz and drag him away right as they thought they were safe. But that didn’t happen.
The hole ceased to exist. And the air was still.
Scott opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to will his shaken body to work with him to produce the words he wanted to say. “You were gonna sacrifice yourself,” he breathed.
“Of course I was. We’re brothers, aren’t we?” Woz replied, without hesitation.
Scott smiled, small and genuine. “Yeah. Yeah.”
A moment passed, no one spoke up just yet.
Scott had to break the silence. “I’m so sorry. I—”
He was cut off as a pair of familiar arms pulled him up from the floor and wrapped him into a hug.
Woz buried his head into his shoulder. “It’s okay now. I forgive you.”
Scott felt the wetness in his eyes as he returned the embrace. He was so tired. Everything hurt. His head hurt. His brain felt like it was pressing against his skull with every passing heartbeat.
The ceiling was swimming around above him. He laughed breathlessly as the edges of his vision turned dark and he lost consciousness.
***
Scott woke up on the couch. He didn’t do anything for a moment; just letting the silence of the house settle into his eardrums.
He felt kind of funny.
A pressing sense of urgency nagged at the back of his brain... but he couldn’t figure out the source.
In the mysteriously quiet house, the silence was so much louder.
“Hello?” He croaked, squinting around. He’d lost his glasses somewhere.
Everything was kind of fuzzy, and not just sight-wise. His brain felt very delicate right now. And his memories weren’t... all there.
He’d try and remember in a minute. He felt tired.
For the first time in months, Scott felt like himself again.
Where was everyone?
Where was...
Scott stared at the ceiling for who-knows-how-long. Until he heard footsteps.
“I’ll check on Scott,” a voice whispered loudly. It was Sam.
Scott’s ears were immediately tuned to attention.
Sam’s face appeared above him, peering from over the back of the couch.
“Oh!” He blinked at Scott as they both stared at each other. “...He’s awake!” He called behind him.
More footsteps followed and suddenly Eric was here, too.
But no Dominic. And no...
And no...
“Where’s Woz?” Scott asked urgently, shooting upwards.
The look shared between the other two men was not reassuring in the slightest.
Eric protested as Scott then immediately tried standing up, almost toppling over. “No! No— lay back down, Dom’s strict orders.”
“Where is he?” Scott gritted his teeth.
“He’s upstairs with Dom,” Sam shook his head. “He’s calling everyone to catch ‘em up on what happened. We did rock paper scissors for it.”
“There’s something you’re not telling me,” Scott snapped, glaring at them and hoping that his helpless squinting wasn’t ruining the intensity of the look.
Eric unhooked Scott’s glasses from the neck of his shirt and handed them over. Scott accepted them gratefully.
Sam let out a long sigh. “He’s not well. Barely responsive. We actually considered some kind of intensive brain damage. His nose won’t stop bleeding, he’s been staring at nothing... We spent a while trying to figure out if we could take him somewhere but... we know we probably can’t.”
Eric was shooting Sam with an annoyed look. There was something sinking inside Scott’s chest. Sam’s voice was becoming distant. Could audio be described as ‘blurry’?
Hands shook his shoulders. “Scott? Scott! C’mon, buddy, come back to us.”
Scott’s vision was swimming, the face of Eric in front of him wavering drastically as he gasped for breath.
Sam’s voice broke through, “He’s still alive, Scott.”
“Unresponsive. Brain damage,” Scott choked.
“He keeps saying your name. Muttering. Like he’s asking for you.”
Scott blinked.
“We were waiting for you to wake up. See if you could get through to him.”
Scott’s breathing remained fast. The taste of hope was so tempting but... he couldn’t let himself take it. “You know, that’s his name, too,” he breathed.
Eric patted his shoulder reassuringly. “He’s not dead. We saved him.”
“How long until he fades?!” Scott cried. “He doesn’t have long in this reality and he’s gonna spend the last of it... slumped in a chair with a permanent nosebleed!”
“Well— that’s the thing,” Sam stuttered. “The VHS... thing. It’s paused.”
Scott’s brain stopped. “...Paused?”
Eric nodded quickly, glad that they’d brought some good news to the distraught man. “Yeah. It’s still covering most of his body, but the effect thing stopped progressing while you’ve been sleeping.”
That didn’t sound right to Scott. No way was it resolved so quickly.
“So there’s no rush,” Sam assured him. “Take a minute before you try sprinting across the room and hurt yourself.”
Scott slumped back on the couch.
“Move over,” Sam kicked the side of the couch. “I wanna sit.”
“Me too,” Eric complained.
Scott curled up in the corner, making room for the pair of them.
“So what was that... pit thing? Some kind of... wormhole?” Sam suddenly asked, skipping any build up.
“The number of realities...” Scott mumbled. “I wouldn’t be surprised a wormhole opened up. The number of realities we just messed with by breaking the connection like we did...”
“Is it really over just like that?” Eric frowned. “I dunno what I was expecting, but...” he shrugged. “I don’t know...”
“Well I’m not sure what to do now,” Scott admitted. “Do I really just... go back to it all like it never happened?”
Eric laughed weakly. “You can always quit your job.”
Scott started a staring contest with the ceiling. “Can I just quit, though? I feel... responsible now. Especially... helping Woz recover...” he murmured the last part, still uncertain about Woz’s fate.
Sam nudged his arm, hearing his dejected tone. “We’ll help.”
Scott sunk further into his seat. “If he even recovers...” he said quietly.
Both Sam and Eric scolded his negativity, but he wasn’t really listening to them. He was too busy letting his gaze drift aimlessly until he was staring at a random spot on the wall across from him, thinking.
Something just still wasn’t sitting right with him. This wasn’t supposed to be how things happened— how things ended.
They had closed the connection between the realities. That stopped the Merge; mission accomplished.
But with Woz stuck on this side of the realities... he was facing the consequences— the VHS effect... disease... illness— whatever it was.
It had started when Scott had died, yeah. But then when he’d come back from the dead... Woz had gotten the outline. Then it had gotten worse when the universe had tried to swap them still. And also his memory loss had been getting worse as Woz had faded more.
So what was the deal with this thing?! What did it mean?!
If he couldn’t even figure out what was causing it, how was he gonna reverse it and help Woz?
Scott jolted up, alert. “Hold on. The VHS thing. It paused... He’s been saying my name, his existence tied to my memory— it paused because I was unconscious!” He gasped, scrambling to stand.
“Whoah, whoa— hold on! What?!” Sam held out a hand to stop him, but Scott was already dodging and leaping over the coffee table.
“It paused because I wasn’t conscious. I’m conscious now!” He rushed out urgently.
Eyes widening, the other two immediately understood the concern. They all stormed upstairs, almost running into Dominic as he paced the room with his phone to his ear.
“I know we didn’t update you sooner, and I’m sorry but there just wasn’t— hey! Careful with him!” He yelped at the group. “Scott! You should be resting!”
Scott shook his head, not even looking at the other man and instead making a beeline straight for Woz.
He was sitting on the couch, staring at nothing. A pile of bloody tissues was collecting at his feet and the tissue box in the spot beside him was looking almost empty.
Woz did not react to them.
“Hey? Are you alright? Can you talk to us?” Scott failed to keep the tremor from his voice. “Woz?”
No response.
Sam slowly approached, placing his hand on Scott’s shoulder. Scott shrugged it off.
He gently reached over, inspecting around the neck of Woz’s shirt and the skin of his right arm. It was near-translucent.
“It’s still there,” he muttered.
“It doesn’t look like it’s moved much,” Eric said hopefully.
Scott frowned.
It was suddenly quiet, apart from Dominic’s ongoing phone conversation. “Look, Joe, I’ll just call you back later, now isn’t a good time. We can get everyone around here and catch up tomorrow, right? Yeah. Yeah. I know. Thank you. You too. Goodnight.” He hung up the phone and threw it back into his pocket with a flourish. “C’mon, guys, I said Scott needed to sleep properly first before we started disturbing Woz.”
“He woke up on his own,” Eric defended. “‘Sides... we’re a little, uh, concerned.”
“Well nothing has changed in the last half hour or so,” Dominic shrugged.
Scott put his head in his hands. “How do we knock me out?”
“Excuse me?” Dominic straightened up.
“When I’m awake it means Woz keeps fading,” Scott explained roughly. “I need to be unconscious.”
“Where’s this comin’ from?” Dominic frowned, confused.
“He had a revelation,” Sam explained unhelpfully. “But I still don’t... how do we even help Woz? Say we do knock Scott out. Then what? Our whole plan hinged on him being the one to get through whatever it is that’s got him this way. We’re stuck.”
Scott opened and closed his mouth, flailing for something to say.
Sam sighed. “He was alright for a little while after you passed out. He helped us carry you to the couch to set you down before he headed up here with Dom. Then he was saying he wasn’t feeling too hot, kept stopping and shaking his head. We knew something was weird, for sure, so we sent him to sit down and that’s when he tapped out.” He waved his hand over at Woz vaguely.
Scott turned away from them all. He just wanted to figure out what was wrong. If he knew what was wrong, he could fix it. Or, he could try and fix it instead of sitting around feeling sorry and watching Woz fade away and then if there was a body they’d have to get rid of him and they couldn’t exactly be public about all this and then it’d be some kind of, like, unmarked shallow grave and then—
He put his head in his hands once again.
“Woz?” Scott said gently, slowly lifting his head up. “Are you listening?”
Again, Woz didn’t respond.
Scott cleared his throat and carefully shook Woz’s shoulder. “Scott? I’m sorry I can’t help you. It’s really all my fault, isn’t it? I started this whole mess and now, y’know, once again you’re suffering for it.” He sighed. “There’s a lot of things I would do differently. A lot. Then maybe things wouldn’t have turned out so shit.”
Scott brushed away a stray tissue so that he could sit beside Woz, careful not to jostle him. Once seated, Scott leaned back, crossing one leg over the other to get comfortable.
Dominic, Sam and Eric stayed quiet, recognising that this was a moment for just the two Scotts, and so sat themselves down on the other side of the couch, away from them, as observers.
Scott breathed out slowly. “I used to view you and me as a similar person— maybe even the same guy. And I know it’s weird for me of all people to view it that way because... well, how could someone who isn’t me be me? But you know it’s that whole idea of the person— me— and the character being, like, exaggerated... y’know? So I just always kinda viewed us as the same person. But then also not, as well, right? The way I was setting all these... expectations and rules and shit for you, like you weren’t allowed to have any flaws, while I had all the flaws in the world and didn’t hold myself to the same standards.
“Just... judging you so hard for all this shit... and it wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault. We’re both in the same situation... We were in the same situation. A situation that I caused— it was my fault at first, even if it was an accident. So... I’m sorry. I’m sorry I got you into this mess. You didn’t deserve this, you know?
“We are different people and... though we may share some aspects, and a name— whatever you have going on— I don’t know if it’s a middle name or if you tag that onto your last name, or... I dunno. Whatever! Apart from that... Yeah, we look similar, yeah we look— you know, like twin brothers... But we aren’t the same person, just because we look similar. Like how people already say that about twins— they see twins as the same person but they’re obviously two different people! So why would we be... not different? We got different morals and interests and... life experiences. So yeah, we’re similar, but not the same.
“So... sure. There can be two Scotts. But there’s only one Woz. And... if you want me to be your brother... of course we can do that. But we can’t do that unless you— unless you remember that and remember who you are and you come back to us right now.”
Scott’s voice was getting shakier as he continued.
He’d been trying to solve this VHS thing, getting nowhere, but... now he had a hunch. A crazy hunch; because of the memory loss stuff that maybe— just maybe— the best idea he had so far... it had something to do with forgetting who he was. Woz forgetting who he was in the Merge. Because, sure, the realities were merging... but the two of them had been merging as well. And that was the problem.
Because, yeah, they fixed the actual reality leak, but did they solve their own issues yet? Of course not. They’d only just fixed reality, so of course they hadn’t had time to sort their own issues. Plus they kept being unconscious!
So... this could be them fixing it now. And then hopefully... This would stop Woz from fading away and then maybe they could have a happy end and for once something can go right instead of horribly, horribly wrong.
And instead of causing more bullshit... Scott can actually fix something for once. Do something good for Woz instead of putting him down and hurting him more.
“You just need to wake up and speak to me,” Scott pleaded.
And then Woz’s eyes blinked slowly and opened wide.
The dazed man looked around at the faces staring back at him. “Whose funeral is it?” He slurred out. “Or are you starin’ at me ‘cause I’ve got somethin’ on my face?”
Scott made a choked noise and immediately wrapped up Woz in a hug. It ended just a little too quickly, though, as Scott dropped the other man to eye him over with concern.
“Hey,” Woz grinned weakly, although his eyelids were almost closed as he blinked slowly at Scott. “I don’t really feel too good right now.”
Scott laughed shallowly. “I would be surprised if you said you felt okay right now.”
“...Brothers...” Woz mumbled, eyes glittering. “I love the sound of that.”
“Yeah. We can... actually get to meet each other, n’ hang out. How does that sound?”
Woz kept up his dopey grin, sitting up further. “It looks like we’ll have plenty of time to meet each other now, right?”
Scott nodded firmly before he pushed Woz back into the cozy corner of the couch. “Now relax! We’re all worried about you.”
“Thank you,” Woz murmured happily. “Is it alright if I pass out now?”
Scott laughed fully this time. “Sure.”
***
Woz slept for hours. The group kept a careful eye on him, just in case it was a sign of him actually getting worse rather than getting better.
But he was slowly becoming less see-through. The effect was going away.
Then they decided to leave him be, curled up on the couch upstairs, while they all moved down into the basement to watch some mindless, shitty films— it was probably their default activity to spend time doing together at this point. But it lacked most of the usual running commentary and the laughter was few and far between.
Scott was kind of glad he didn’t have to sit around Woz at the moment— seeing his own face sleeping had been... strange to witness with his own eyes.
Something to get used to, I guess.
The energy between the guys right now was that of a group of people who were about to plan out a strategy and lay down the warplan but... they were just all so tired. It had been such a long ass day and too much stuff had happened to melt their brains.
Well, even though it was the middle of the night now and as tired as he felt, Scott still didn’t feel like sleeping yet. But he did feel hungry— he hadn’t eaten since that afternoon.
He looked around at the other occupants of the room, all of them now scrolling lazily through their phones. It also seemed like no one really wanted to go home yet, either.
Scott cleared his throat. “Should I order us something?” He asked, voice sounding exhausted and rough as if he hadn’t spoken in days rather than just five minutes ago.
Dominic lowered his phone, leaning right back into his seat and running a hand through his hair to scratch at his scalp. “Sure, why not?” he sighed.
“What does everyone want?”
“Just get burgers,” Sam suggested halfheartedly. “I don’t think any of us are even in the mood. Waiting for the shock to set in, that’s for sure.”
“Does Woz want anything?” Eric asked, massaging his eyes and nose bridge. Without waiting for a response, he stood up and made his way to the basement stairs.
“Yeah, we can get burgers,” Scott agreed, taking his phone out.
Dominic and Sam both scooted closer to peer over Scott’s shoulder at their options.
Soon, Eric returned with Woz, who gazed at them all drowsily, rubbing at his eyes. “Food?” He said simply and Scott waved him over.
“Are you guys gonna... stay over here tonight? Or head back?” Scott asked, frowning.
Eric hummed. “Eh... later. Right now I still think I need a minute. You don’t mind, right?”
Scott laughed. “Well I think you can tell that I’m obviously not gonna be sleeping myself anytime soon.”
Sam nodded slowly. “I’m gonna hang around for a while, too.”
“Same,” said Dominic.
Woz was quiet for a moment. “...I’m sticking around. Obviously.”
Scott tapped his way through the menus on his phone, preparing each of their requested food orders as well as his own, as Woz sank dramatically into his seat. “So... stuck in the wrong reality,” Woz sighed. “We really do have all the time in the world to get to know each other now.”
Scott gave him a sympathetic look before returning his attention to his phone. “20 minute delivery time? At this hour?” He exclaimed.
Eric made a praying motion with his hands. “Don’t question a good thing.”
Dominic patted Woz’s shoulder reassuringly. “We’ll figure something out, don’t worry.”
Woz just sighed. “Thanks,” he mumbled.
Order successfully placed, Scott suddenly stood up. “Do you guys mind if I vanish real quick to go take a shower?” Absently, he brushed at the crusty blood still on the back of his head.
“Sure, go ahead,” Sam shrugged.
Eric noticed Scott’s fidgeting with his hair and raised an eyebrow. “Have you really been sitting here for hours with blood still in your hair?”
Scott held up his hands defensively. “I wasn’t really thinking about it! But I’ve remembered, and there’s time now.”
Sam crept up behind Scott and raised his hand, as if he was about to poke the scabbing and bloody wound. “Doesn’t it hurt?”
Scott shrugged uncomfortably. “I’m a little numb to it. The pain will probably kick in later,” he waved his hand dismissively, wandering his way out the basement.
In the shower, Scott scrubbed the shampoo thoroughly through his hair automatically, only remembering to not do that just as it started to sting from both the soap and the rough treatment from his fingers. He cried out sharply, before massaging the area more gently this time.
That’s definitely not gonna heal neatly...
Once he’d stepped out of the shower, he brushed his hand over the foggy mirror surface and squinted at himself through the steam and the running water droplets, trying to see the back of his head. He sighed.
But clean skin and a fresh pair of clothes was making him feel much better already.
In his fifteen minutes of absence, Scott found that the others had settled themselves down with the lights off and the TV on. Four pairs of eyes were laser-focused on the true crime YouTube video they were watching.
“A little morbid,” he commented, strolling over to throw himself back into his claimed seat.
“It’s kinda interesting,” Woz shrugged.
Scott couldn’t get into it, but he didn’t have to wait long anyways. The doorbell rang out and he immediately offered to go collect the bags, waving a hand at Dominic who had started to get up. “I’ll get it, I’m not invested in this.”
Combing his hand through his hair as he once again left the basement, Scott still felt uneasy. His thoughts were drifting, which caused him to overly awkwardly thank the delivery guy and almost slam his foot in the door as he closed it.
Maybe he was just really dreading the future— everything that was gonna happen next. They would have to talk about it all at some point. Plus, Dominic had already invited everyone around tomorrow— well, later today—to talk about everything. He was just dreading reliving it, as would inevitably happen.
Gripping the paper bags tighter as he turned back towards the stairs, he sighed. He really wished he could just go back to last December and then forget any of this had ever happened.
The video on the TV was paused as Scott returned and the group shared out their meals. Scott slapped the hand of Woz as he attempted to steal fries and Sam loudly complained about missing sauce on his burger. Eric dug through the bags looking for the napkins while Dominic inspected and wondered about why the buns on his own burger looked like they’d been stepped on.
They all got comfortable and ate, with the video remaining paused. Unfortunately for Scott, this meant he now had the perfect chance to start the conversation he didn’t really want to.
“So—” he and Woz said at the same time.
“Oh, sorry, you go first,” Woz laughed, filling his mouth with food.
Scott stumbled over his words, now put off-balance. “I was just— uh... Well, you know there’s the whole— I was just thinking about— well, you’re gonna need a place to stay and I don’t exactly have a spare bedroom set up but... Yeah of course you can live here, if you want. I don’t mind at all. If you want to.”
Woz grinned. “Of course I want to! And don’t worry about not having a room... I don’t mind the couch, you know that.”
Scott smiled.
“What about other stuff?” Eric prompted.
“What other stuff?” Scott asked.
Eric gestured aimlessly with his hand. “Official documents, ID, driver’s license...”
Woz pouted.
“That’s gonna be a mess...” Scott muttered.
“So we’re assuming there’s no way back now, right?” Dominic asked.
“Yeah, it looks like I’m stuck here for now,” Woz sighed sadly. “I’ll keep myself useful. I don’t want to be a nuisance. I’ll even pay my rent if I’m gonna be hassling you to be living here.” Woz sighed miserably. “I guess I gotta... get a job now, y’know? Can’t just move in here and not help with the bills.”
“Where do you wanna work?” Eric asked him.
“You should work at a games store.” Sam pointed at him. “You’ve got all the know-how and stuff for that, it’d be easy.”
Woz scowled. “No!” He stood, waving out his arms. “No. No! Absolutely— just no. Nope!”
Scott chewed on a handful of fries, shaking his head. “Don’t tell him to work at a games store. He probably has trauma from Games on a Shelf,” he scolded.
Woz looked at him weird. “No, no. It’s not that. It’s just that I don’t wanna be working at my job at the games store and some bozo walks up to me and says ‘holy f*ck Scott The Woz working at Gamestop.’”
Eric immediately barked out a laugh and Sam joined in soon after.
Scott looked at the man bemusedly. “Alright, alright. Not a retail type job, then.”
“Just get him to work for you,” Sam shrugged.
Scott hemmed and hawed. “I just thought he’d wanna do somethin’ more interesting.”
Woz was staring into space, pondering. “Can I even get a job? I don’t think I legally exist.”
“Well, yeah you exist,” Eric waved his hand. “They just think you’re this guy.” He jerked his thumb over at Scott.
“But... isn’t he, like, self-employed? What about tax things? The government stuff with the forms and declaring where you get your money from and all that junk. So they can’t just think that I’m him.”
Scott nodded. “He’s right, actually.”
“So he really does have to work with you or someplace that’s like... maybe a little shady,” Sam concluded. “Cool.”
“But if he’s working for me and I’m paying him— nevermind.”
“If you two are legally the same...” Eric hummed. “If Woz committed a crime, wouldn’t Scott get blamed?”
Scott spluttered. “What?!”
Woz just laughed.
Pointing a stern finger at each of them, Scott set his most serious frown on his face. “If you’re gonna go out threatening to go committing crimes, I’m gonna ban you from running errands without supervision.”
The other four just kept snickering.
Scott rolled his eyes. “Well anyway— don’t worry about rent. As long as you aren’t... I dunno... throwing controllers at my walls or shattering all my plates outside, then it’s fine.”
“You’re sure?” Woz asked, eyes gleaming.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Thank you so much,” Woz beamed. “I’ll be useful, no worries. And then I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I get home.”
Scott bit his lip and shot glances at his other friends, who shared the same look as him.
“Woz...” he started hesitantly. “I know you’re... quite eager, but... have you considered that maybe— uh, maybe you might... not get the chance to, um, go back?”
Woz blinked at him.
“I just mean...” he trailed off, thinking about his words. “Like... we closed the whole connection between realities. So... there’s a very good chance that... this is it.”
It was incredibly quiet for a little bit. A ‘pin drop’ kind of moment.
“No,” Woz finally said slowly, shaking his head. “I just can’t believe that. Sorry.”
He sounded actually apologetic. Scott shared glances around the group again.
Woz continued, “I mean... if you told me about all the alternate reality stuff some years ago I wouldn’t have believed you. But... Well, look at us now. So I don’t know if I can just... give up like that, y’know?”
Scott swallowed thickly. “Okay. Alright.”
Woz sighed through his nose. “I just... don’t want to consider the thought that I’ll never see the guys again, alright? I gotta hold on to this.” He nodded solemnly. “I gotta hold on to this.”
***
It was just about sunrise when the guys all finally made their separate ways home. Scott and Woz stood and waved them off from the doorstep, as Woz cracked his back and yawned widely.
Scott watched him. “Yeah, I’m feeling that.” He massaged his eyes with his fingers. “Let’s get that couch set up for you.”
“Thank you. Again.”
Scott waved a hand. “Don’t even worry about it.”
The pair cleaned up the last of the trash from dinner and grabbed some blankets and one of Scott’s pillows to share, putting together a nest for Woz to sleep in.
“How’s that?” Scott asked, throwing the pillow down.
“Yeah that’s good, thanks,” Woz blinked slowly, brain running at half speed. Exhausted, he threw himself down on the pile and didn’t move.
Scott laughed. “Alright, goodnight.” He walked over to the light switch.
Woz responded with a dignified ‘mmhhffgghh’.
Scott rolled his eyes and headed for the kitchen to grab a water bottle before he made his way up to his room. He was quick to change into his pajamas and get comfortable in order to chase that sleepiness he’d been feeling creeping up on him before he lost it.
Scott tried for an hour to get to sleep, squirming under his blankets, tossing and turning. But he was plagued with anxiety. Constantly, the thought and the fear of Woz’s health taking a turn for the worse lurked in his mind. He couldn’t rest.
It was after this time he decided to calm his heart by simply just... checking on the guy. Fastest way to be sure of his condition. Simple.
And so Scott threw his blankets off and crept his way downstairs.
Only to almost walk directly into Woz in the hallway.
“Oh! Hey,” he sputtered, stumbling back.
Woz lowered his hand from where it hovered over his chest. “Jesus! You scared me,” he mumbled, now playing with his hoodie strings.
“Sorry for spooking you, I just wanted to...” He shifted his weight from foot to foot awkwardly. “...check on you to make sure you were still alive...”
Woz started him down for a moment before he glanced away, wringing his hands. “I was actually gonna check on you. I had a... nightmare.”
Scott’s face creased in sympathy. “Do you want to talk about it?” He offered.
Woz glanced around at the dark surroundings as the silence extended and pressed in on him. While Scott’s wide eyes boring into him were surely meant to be reassuring, instead they brought flashing reminders to his mind, fresh from the nightmare.
He shivered. “Not now. Maybe later.”
Understanding, Scott nodded. “That’s alright. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
The late night conversation ended abruptly on that note, with neither man knowing what to do next. Scott stood there awkwardly in his t-shirt and boxer shorts while Woz scuffed a socked foot on the floor.
Scott had gotten his desire to ensure Woz was still around, and Woz had gotten the same for Scott. Yet, both were unwilling to turn around and head back to their sleeping quarters at the moment.
Slowly, Scott opened his mouth. He knew that if he returned to bed, it was only a matter of time before the anxiety reared its ugly head again, leaving him once again restless and unable to sleep. Unless... “Would you mind if I slept in the basement with you?” He asked. “I dunno if I’m gonna, like, piss you off if I’m sleeping in a chair in the corner and staring at you while you’re trying to get to sleep.”
Woz frowned and shook his head. “No, I don’t mind.”
Scott’s shoulders sagged in relief.
Woz continued. “But I do mind that you just wanna sleep in a chair. You’ll hurt your neck! We gotta get you set up with pillows on the floor, or half the couch or something.”
Scott smiled. “Alright, alright. I’ll go grab my bed stuff. You go back, I’ll only be a minute.”
True to his word, Scott was quick to grab his pillows and blankets underarm and drag them downstairs to throw on the floor, shoving the coffee table out of the way to make room. The floor was a little hard but the rug softened it and it wasn’t unbearable. There might have been room on the couch for them both, but he didn’t want to be awkward about it— he was happy on the floor.
Woz watched him with his head resting on his hand propped up by his elbow, until they were both finally ready to get some shut-eye. Scott almost laughed at how this felt like a sleepover.
“You all good?” Scott asked before he settled himself down.
“Yeah,” Woz grinned. “Night-night.”
Scott checked that his phone was charging from the portable battery he’d plugged it into. “Goodnight.”
The only noise was the rustling as they both got comfortable.
But they both found themselves staring at the ceiling. Not sleeping.
Scott bit his lip nervously before he spoke up. “Did you want to talk about that nightmare?”
Woz stayed quiet for a while, not responding.
“Oh, sorry,” Scott whispered. “Are you asleep?”
“No, just... thinking,” Woz replied. “It’s like sleeping at a new place for the first time. Except it’s... not really new is it?”
“Well it kinda is,” Scott reassured. “Doubt you’ve got that soundproofing all up there,” he said, pointing at the foam stuck to the ceiling above them.
Woz just hummed.
Scott waited for him to respond to his question. “So?”
“So.” Woz cleared his throat. “So.”
“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
Woz swallowed thickly. “It... wasn’t pretty.”
Scott played with his hands. “Well... nightmares usually aren’t very pretty.”
Quietly, Woz cleared his throat again. “I think I don’t want to talk about it.”
Nodding even though he couldn’t be seen, Scott looked over at him. “That’s fine.”
There was a loud rustle as Woz threw himself over onto his side, cocooning himself in a blanket. “Goodnight,” he rushed out.
“...Night.”
***
Scott woke up with a crick in his back. He grumbled about it. They’d understandably slept in late following yesterday’s ‘excitement’.
Together, the pair dragged themselves upstairs and to the kitchen. Scott wasn’t usually a breakfast guy, but to be fair... it was the afternoon now, anyway. Why not have cereal for brunch?
Eyes half-lidded, he grabbed two bowls and threw a helping of honey bunches and milk into them. Woz snatched up some spoons and they left to go sit at the table. They sat across from each other and ate in the peaceful silence.
Woz was absently staring off into space, and Scott was watching him. He was happy that it seemed like whatever had been bothering Woz the night before was no longer on his mind. That was good. He was even keeping a smile up on his face.
But Scott couldn’t stay quiet for long, and he’d noticed something worth asking about.
“Did you... uhhh... did you sleep in that?”
“Huh?” Woz replied, shaking his head to exit whatever daydream he’d been engrossed in. “What’d you say?”
“I said, did you sleep in that?” Scott repeated, gesturing his hand over at the other.
Woz raised his eyebrow, as if Scott was the weird one. “What? The jeans?”
Scott nodded. Woz laughed. “Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept in jeans,” he grinned widely.
Rolling his eyes, Scott sighed. “Didn’t you wanna sleep in, I dunno, pajamas or... something fresh?”
Woz blinked. “Why?” He lifted his arm and sniffed at his armpit. He looked away thoughtfully for a moment. “When’s your laundry day?” He asked.
Sighing again, Scott flapped his hand at him in a shooing motion. “Finish your cereal and then come with me.”
***
Scott swept his arm dramatically over his wardrobe. “Take your pick. We can get you something of your own later, I guess.”
Woz clapped his hands excitedly. “You know I’m just gonna steal from you, right? If I like it enough I’m keeping it.”
Scott shook his head and smiled. “I accept my fate.”
Woz thumbed through the hangers, inspecting each of Scott’s shirts and sweaters. “You got anything good?”
Scott quirked an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I haven’t forgotten about the turtleneck.”
“You’ve worn the turtleneck!”
Woz crossed his arms and looked away. “It was a necessary evil.”
“You still bought it in the first place. And then you wore it. Just like me. It’s comfortable! You can admit it.”
Woz grunted, but refused to accept defeat. “Your fashion sucks.”
“And yours doesn’t? Also— we literally both just wear hoodies and sweaters and jeans and plain white shirts, like, all the time.”
Woz motioned over himself completely unironically, splaying his hands around his unwashed hoodie and jeans. “I have great style, thank you very much. Too good for your wardrobe, y’know?” He grinned.
“Oh, so would you not mind if I picked something for you?” Scott countered with a smile.
Woz narrowed his eyes. “It depends...”
Scott held out two of his polo shirts with a sharp grin, causing Woz to dramatically stick out his tongue in disgust, not unlike a cat discovering the taste of lemon. “Yuck. No.”
“What?” Scott waggled the hangers in the air, still beaming. “Not a fan of polos?”
Woz made a few overdramatic retching sounds in response.
“I’m not hearing a ‘no’...” Scott teased.
Woz continued to be dramatic, now clutching at his chest with one hand, and the other twisted and clawed and reaching towards the ceiling. “I’m dying from heart failure, by the way,” he informed Scott. “‘Cause you want me to wear a polo shirt.”
Scott laughed and slotted his shirts back onto the rack. “Go on then, Mr. Fashion. Show me what you’d rather wear.”
Woz returned to his closet inspection, hemming and hawing at each t-shirt in there. Scott wondered if their wardrobes were really that different. Surely they owned the same shirts? Or maybe Woz just liked to be dramatic. That was probably it.
Woz gasped loudly, causing Scott to frown in concern, but he relaxed once he saw that Woz was grinning from ear to ear.
“What is it?” He asked.
Woz made another excited noise as he dove into the closet, rummaging through. “What is this?!”
He spun around, holding a shirt up to his chest. Scott couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of a certain ‘borders all over’ shirt. “You like that one?” He asked.
“I love it.” He quickly tossed his chosen shirt on the floor before moving back to the hangers. “Do you have anything else cool like this?”
Scott watched in amusement as the other man rummaged around his merch clothing. He wondered if Woz had even noticed that the shirts and hoodies were covered in references.
Woz barked out a laugh. “Oh!” He crowed, spinning around once again. He held up a hoodie emblazoned with the Scott The Woz logo. “I see,” he smiled. “Do you ever wear this?”
Scott made a face. “Ehh... not really. I mean, if you want that, you can have it.”
Woz laughed again. “Well, it has my name on it!”
Scott smiled. “Both your names. It has my name on it, too.”
The other looked back with a giddy grin. “Even better,” he stated.
“So is that everything? One shirt and one hoodie?”
“Hang on, hang on,” Woz grumbled. “Give me a minute to look...”
***
Later, when Scott opened the door to let in a slightly peeved Joe (the first of many guests that would be showing up today), Woz stood behind him, grinning in his new blue border-covered shirt.
***
[1 WEEK LATER]
[1 WEEK AFTER REALITY LEAKED]
“Nononono— NONONO!” Scott threw his Wiimote and Nunchuk down as he came dead last in Mario Kart. The wrist strap attached to his hand caused the controller to swing pathetically around his wrist and the plastic Nunchuk made a painful-sounding clack noise as it bounced off his kneecap.
Sam, Justin, Dominic and Woz all laughed at his misery.
“Oh— shut up!” He grumbled, fiddling with the buckle on the wrist strap to take it off before tossing it over at Dominic, who was waiting for his turn. “You’re only laughing because it’s me who lost.”
“Well, duh,” Sam smirked. “It’s funnier when you lose. You get so dramatic.”
“It’s funnier when you lose,” Scott repeated mockingly in a whiny voice. “Who wants a refill?” He asked the room.
“Can you grab me a new can?” Justin asked, before quickly looking back to the screen as the next race was already starting.
“Sure. Anyone else?”
“Me too.” Sam wiggled his hand in the air.
Woz shook his head, shaking his hand out before readjusting his grip on his Gamecube controller. “I’m good.”
“Uh— same,” Dominic said, distracted by the countdown.
Scott wandered off to get the drinks as the sounds of tonight’s impromptu Mario Kart Wii session began to ring out once again.
“HOW HAS HE GOT A BLUE SHELL ALREADY?! We only just f*cking started!” Woz was yelling.
Scott was very happy that everyone was having a great time. It was their first hangout since The Almost-Merge a week ago, and he had predicted that things would go pretty poorly. He’d been dreading how awkward it would probably be up until everyone had shown up today and things had been... not awkward. A sigh of relief had escaped him as the guys had been cheery and polite to Woz, who Scott could tell had also been feeling that looming dread.
But things were looking to be alright now. It was actually Woz who had suggested their Mario Kart Wii competition as something to do, since they hadn’t really had a plan for specific things to do tonight. And obviously, that was going well. The anguished screaming from the couch was a good indicator of an engaging Mario Kart session.
Scott hoped that by thinking about how well everything was going, he wasn’t jinxing anything, as he wasn’t interested in any more drama at the moment.
He returned to the rest of them with two cans of Whiteclaw in hand, dodging in front of the TV screen quickly so that he could sit back down in his seat.
Mario Kart continued for the majority of the night, with the topic of Woz only coming up about an hour or so before the guys were planning on heading home.
“I’m just saying,” Justin was shrugging. “Long lost twin stories happen all the time.”
“Not really,” Scott hummed. “And I’m literally an only child!”
“Which is why a long lost twin would be news to you and everyone and be such a big surprise...” Sam nodded.
Scott was still not sure. “I dunno... Plus, we still got all that stuff like missing ID, etcetera, etcetera.”
“Well, what have you been thinking about?” Woz asked him.
“I’ve been thinking about a lot of things! And I’m sure there’s even more little things that we didn’t even think of that’re gonna end up kicking our asses.”
“Such as?” Dominic tilted his head.
“Well, y’know, small stuff like... haircuts. Woz just got his hair cut recently before he got stuck here. Mine is getting long and I’m gonna get it cut soon. So then I get my hair cut... his gets long again faster than me. It’s suspicious!” He rambled, throwing his hands all over the place while trying to make his convoluted point.
Dominic looked at him funny for a second. “...Just go to a different barber...?”
Sam laughed quickly. “Yeah, just stop going to Great Clips, man.”
Woz clapped his hands. “Ooh, Great Clips— I love Great Clips!”
“Scott loves Great Clips too,” Sam said, shooting Scott a knowing grin.
Immediately knowing what he was not-so-subtly referring to, Scott snorted. “Stop it.”
“It was funny! You know it was funny,” Sam defended.
Woz looked between them, quirking an eyebrow. “What are you guys talking about?” He asked.
“Nothing!” Scott hurried to say before Sam could open his mouth. “Nothing at all.”
“I’ll show him one day,” Sam stage-whispered to Scott.
Scott pulled a face. “No!”
Dominic and Justin were laughing at them all. “I’m with Sam on this one,” Justin said.
“Why are you all against me tonight?! What did I do?!” Scott whined.
“It’s one of those nights,” Dominic grinned.
***
Scott was tossing the leftover trash from dinner away, thinking about the recent frequency of his fast food ordering, when Woz interrupted him, complaining loudly.
“I’m bored. Can we do something?”
Scott looked at him, confused. “Like what? We literally just said bye to the guys.”
Woz shrugged. “Well, yeah, but now I’m bored. Can we play something?”
“Have you not done enough gaming today? We played Mario Kart for hours.”
Woz looked at him very seriously. “You can never do too much gaming.”
Scott rubbed at his eyes. “Alright, alright. Sure. What did you wanna play?”
Almost instantaneously, Woz’s face split into a giant grin. He wrung his hands together, both eager but also shy to suggest what he wanted to. “I was wondering... if we could play... Mario Galaxy? With— with me as the Co-Star?”
Scott tilted his head. “You wanna be player two? On Mario Galaxy?”
Woz’s grin melted into a smaller, yet equally as excited smile. “Yes, please.”
In response, Scott rolled his eyes lightheartedly. “Sure, whatever you want. Not for long, though. I’m gettin’ pretty tired.”
Woz clapped his hands excitedly. “That’s fine! We don’t have to play for long. This is just something I wanna... experience.”
Scott cracked his back and yawned widely. “Lemme go grab everything then...”
As he wandered away to pick the desired game from the shelf, Woz watched him go with a twinkle in his eye and heaps of happiness in his heart. As soon as Scott had that Wii up and running, he would get to finally experience being the sibling who got roped with being the second player.
***
[1 WEEK LATER]
[2 WEEKS AFTER REALITY LEAKED]
Woz had been quiet this morning; following Scott without any comments as the two dodged around each other in the bathroom with toothbrushes in hand, and as Woz made himself a bowl of cereal while Scott grabbed himself a cereal bar for later. Generally they would part ways after ‘breakfast’, as Scott had work to do and Woz was busy being unemployed. But today...
“Hey... Scott?”
“Hrm?” Scott blinked, looking up from his phone to peer at him, about half a second before he would have walked into the doorframe.
“I was wondering... Could I watch you work today?”
Scott blinked again. “Watch me work?”
“Yeah. Like... Can I just watch you make an episode? Please?” He looked at Scott with wide eyes. Scott had to wonder if he was doing the kicked puppy look on purpose or if it was a subconscious thing.
“Uh...” He rolled the idea around in his head. “Sure, yeah. If you want to, I guess.”
Woz beamed and saluted. “Lead the way, Boss.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Scott thought through his mental to-do list. “Well I’m just doing some filming today,” he said, steering himself towards his laptop on his desk to grab it. “So... not much interesting stuff going on.”
“That’s fine. This is just what I wanna do today. Instead of other stuff.”
Scott shrugged, strolling into the desk room and setting up his script. He settled down and warmed up, cracking his spine and checking his camera and lights before getting comfortable in his chair. He glanced over at Woz, who had wandered over to the corner of the room and sat himself down, back leaning against the wall and holding on to his knees.
Scott got started; working his way through his script, perfecting his takes and just generally... doing his job.
Meanwhile, Woz sat unblinking in his claimed corner. Just observing. Occasionally, Scott glanced over at him, just to check up on the man. He really did think that Woz wasn’t blinking.
A solid twenty minutes passed before Scott said anything.
“Do you wanna... help and do something else? Or are you just gonna sit there?”
Woz tilted his head slightly. “I like sitting here.”
Scott raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s not what I— alright, okay— just sit there then, if you’re happy.”
“I’m happy,” Woz smiled.
Scott shook his head to clear it as he picked his laptop back up to read through the next few lines of his script, glancing back at Woz, who had resumed his sitting and staring. Scott continued working, trying to ignore him.
Thankfully, he was really in the game today— he had very few parts that needed multiple tries to get right. It was really just coming naturally for this filming session and he was feeling the confidence. It was only as Scott was wrapping up the final few shots that Woz broke his silence, sighing happily and moving to place his cheek in his hand with a wide smile.
“Is this really what you think I’m like?” He blinked over at him with his giddy grin.
Was he really taking Scott’s acting as a... compliment? To himself?
It took him a second to process. “What? No. I’m just tryna write my fuckin’ show,” he laughed. “This isn’t you.”
“Oh,” Woz frowned in thought. “I thought your character was based on me...”
Scott stared at him, trying to mentally work his way through that sentence. “...No.”
“Hrmmm...” Woz placed his hand on his chin, exaggeratedly showing that he was thinking. “If you say so...”
Scott raised an eyebrow again. “Right.”
***
Filming wrapped. But there was still work to be done.
“I’m gonna... work on a script. If you’re still tailing me today.”
Woz cheered and once again followed Scott as he decided between his desk and the couch to sit. He shrugged. The couch was comfortable.
He sat around for a little while, drumming his fingers absently as he tried to decide where to start. Woz watched him in silence.
Scott got started, tapping away at the keyboard. Woz kept staring. Quiet.
He kept writing, editing and outlining. He could feel those eyes on him. It was still silent.
Scott added some bits and pieces here and there, fleshing out a couple of paragraphs. Silence and staring continued.
Silence. Typing.
Silence.
And then—
Woz read what he’d just typed out. “Umm... actually, Jeb wouldn’t say that.”
Scott’s last nerves exploded. “Dude!” He yelped. “Please just go somewhere else. I am begging you.”
“I thought I was helping with the script!” Woz whined.
“I don’t know what you’re doing,” Scott confessed. “I thought you were gonna help or something.”
“I am helping!” Woz insisted. “Jeb wouldn’t say that. So I’m telling you he wouldn’t say that, because I know he wouldn’t say that, so I’m saying don’t put that in your script ‘cause he wouldn’t say that,” Woz shrugged.
Scott flailed his hands around, searching for words. “Fine! If you know so much better, you write it! I need a break,” Scott huffed, shoving his laptop at Woz and standing up to leave.
Woz fumbled with the device, trying not to clumsily drop it. “Alright! Maybe I will.” He nodded once, determined.
Scott left him in the basement by himself, marching upstairs. He’d be fine on his own while he just went out to pick up groceries.
Of course, it was only as Scott was slamming the trunk of his car shut outside of Walmart that he realized how bad he’d jinxed himself by thinking something like that. His eyes widened. He buckled himself in and peeled out of the parking lot maybe a little too quickly.
The lack of fire trucks and police vehicles outside of his house soothed him a little as he rolled up, but he still rushed to get inside and check on Woz. Dropping his bags in the hall, he hurried down to the basement, scanning the room for any sign of him.
“You in here?” He called out.
“Hwuh?” Woz popped his head up over the back of the couch, squinting at him. “Oh, you’re back.”
Scott breathed out a sigh. “Yeah. Uh— what have you been up to?”
Woz readjusted himself and held up Scott’s laptop as he walked over to take a look.
“You’ve been writing?”
Woz nodded. “Lemme know what you think,” he grinned, holding out the laptop for him to take.
Scott shrugged, leaning on the back of the couch to scroll through curiously. Then he glanced at the scroll bar and his eyes widened. “This is— this is pages!” He sputtered.
Woz raised an eyebrow at him.
Scott skimmed through everything that Woz had been writing. Pages and pages of rambling. Tangents and repetition and random stories about his life that were only half-related to the main topic. He looked back over at Woz, who was staring at him with wide eyes. Then he came to a realization:
Was this what Woz did between cuts? Where he would cut the camera between takes of an episode... in real life, was Woz just... tangent-ing and rambling?
“Are you always like this?” Scott asked.
Woz quirked a confused eyebrow at him.
“All this... writing,” Scott elaborated. “Do you always talk this much?”
Woz looked at him funny. “Uhh... yeah. Isn’t this what you cut out in your editing?”
“You just watched me record— No!” Scott laughed, bemused. “Because I stick to my script that I wrote.”
Woz seemed bewildered. “Do you not just wanna... I dunno... f*ckin’ ramble sometimes?”
“Yes, that’s what my second channel is for! Remember?! Scott’s Stash, the ramblers, carpet videos... What did you think the second channel was for?”
Woz scratched at his chin. “I dunno. I just thought it was mostly for your dedicated fans to watch so they can find out you guys’ favorite fast food orders.”
Scott scrubbed his eyes tiredly with his fingers. “Just... give me some time and I can work out how I can make you really helpful.”
Tilting his head curiously, Woz blinked at him. “What do you want me to do?”
Scott ran a hand through his hair before wagging his finger in thought. “You know? I think you’d make a good editor... I mean, you’ve already had experience...”
Woz grinned.
***
[1 WEEK LATER]
[3 WEEKS AFTER REALITY LEAKED]
“I can’t believe I’m asking you this, but do you wanna come with me to pick up some stuff?”
Woz straightened up to attention immediately in his seat on the couch, the phone in his hand that he’d been so laser-focused on before now leaving his attention completely after Scott’s words.
“Yes. Yes I do. What kind of stuff?”
“Oh, you know, milk, ran out of cereal, might as well grab some pens while I’m out. Saw Target had some props I could use, you know.”
Scott had been way too nervous about letting Woz go around on his own at the moment. And honestly, Woz agreed with his concerns. It was one thing traipsing around and acting like he was Scott once or twice when they had been swapped... but now it really felt like there were consequences to any possible slip-ups. As similar as things seemed to be around here, he had to admit that this wasn’t his home turf and he was at a major disadvantage. But Scott was suggesting here that they go out together. At the same time. Seen together as a pair. In public. That was a little crazy!
But three weeks of not leaving the house at all was... a lot.
“You know what we’re dealing with, right?” Scott’s voice brought him back from his thoughts about that exact subject.
“Of course. But... what’s your cover story? Like... For if anything happened?”
Scott ran his hands down his face slowly. “Honestly I’m winging it and hoping. We can figure this out as we go, I just wanna stop cooping you up in here all day, every day while I go out all the time doing errands and stuff without you, like you’re some kind of willing prisoner. I gotta get you outta this place, man.”
Woz laughed. “I can’t disagree.”
With a sigh, Scott pulled out his phone, scrolling through a rushed to-do list. “You ready to go now? We can go right now.”
He practically teleported in front of the other man. “I am ready.”
Scott stepped back cautiously. “Alright... let’s get goin’ then. Some of this stuff is ingredients for dinner.”
“Ooh! What’s for dinner?”
Scott scratched at the back of his neck sheepishly. “Let’s find out if I can’t teach you a thing or two about cooking.”
Woz’s eyes widened dramatically. “Teach? Me? Cooking?”
“I might regret it in the end, but I know it’s something I have to try to do. What’s life without a little fear of kitchen fires and food poisoning and death?” Scott nodded to himself. “I’m determined to at least try.”
Excited, Woz fist pumped. “What’s your cooking experience like?”
“We don’t need to go into that...”
***
“Just— just act natural.”
Woz rolled his eyes dramatically. “I know, I know! Ya don’t need to keep reminding me, dad.”
Scott raised his hands in defense as the pair made their way through the front doors of the Walmart. “Sue me for being nervous.”
Woz quirked an eyebrow. “If you insist.”
Scott grumbled. “Not— not literally. Not literally.”
Smiling sheepishly, Woz fidgeted with his hands. “Oh. Oh, right... I knew that.”
In response, Scott grabbed him by the arm and dragged the other man through the store, scanning the aisles to get where he wanted to. Woz reminded him that they probably needed a cart.
He was actually enjoying the experience. Even though it was mostly Scott just muttering to himself, checking his notes app and grabbing things from shelves to toss in the cart that Woz was pushing around... he was having fun.
It was as they were approaching the milk fridges that Woz began to giggle, causing Scott to raise a questioning eyebrow at him.
“Oh, it’s just that last time I was here, it was when I was getting that milk and I met that one weird guy who was a fan or something. It was funny.”
Scotts eyes widened. “Yes! And that was what started the ‘grocery pictures’ thing!”
“The what what?”
Scott pinched his nose bridge with one hand, waving the other hand around as he approached the fridge door. “This thing— everyone wanting to take pictures of me while they’re holding milk and whatever, because of that time you took the photo with that fan when you were getting milk.”
“Ohh!” Woz’s eyes widened, before he stood there, still clinging to the cart, with a pleased grin. “Heheheh. Grocery pictures.”
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up...” Scott mumbled, reaching for the carton.
“No way,” a voice spoke up from behind them.
Both men felt every organ in their body turn to mush as they both braced themselves to turn around to the source of the voice. Scott turned first. A woman stood there, grinning from ear-to-ear, wearing a ‘Gex Night’ shirt, no less. Scott subtly let out the sigh he’d been preparing. “Uh. Hi.”
Scott stared directly into Woz’s eyes, who hadn’t turned around yet. He looked a little scared.
“Wow, crazy seeing you here when I’m wearin’ my merch,” the woman laughed. “What’s with people meeting you when you’re buying your groceries? Haha!” And then she turned. “Who’s this?”
Scott counted to three with his eyes closed before he answered. “This is— uhh—”
Woz picked that moment to turn around and face the fan, who had surprise written all over her face.
“...Uh, what?” She chuckled out.
Scott stammered for a moment. “This is— we were— don’t tell anyone! We were just filming, and we needed to grab some stuff for, uh, snacks and stuff— yeah.”
The woman glanced between them both. “You found a double? For filming?”
Scott nodded and Woz waved.
“That’s so cool!” She said, and Scott let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
Woz kept his mouth shut, not willing to say something that went against whatever plan Scott currently had cooking up.
“Um— so please don’t tell anyone? I mean, sure, tell people you saw me. But can you not tell everyone you met my, uh, double? It’ll ruin some filming stuff I’ve been planning, and—”
The fan held out her hands and shook her head. “Oh! Of course, of course, no worries. I always think it’s better when the episodes are a surprise and I don’t wanna ruin that...”
Woz bobbed his head up and down and Scott smiled. “Ah, good, good.”
The woman froze up for a moment, clearly not knowing what to do next, before she stuck her hand out. “Uh— well it was nice meeting you!”
Scott accepted the handshake. “Uh, same to you!”
When it was Woz’s turn to shake, he did his usual backwards handshake and kept up a stupid grin on his face.
The fan laughed once again. “This guy’s good! Alright, I’ll stop bothering you now. Have a great day. Hope the filming goes well!” She waved again as she turned and walked away back down the aisle.
As soon as she was gone, Scott slumped over. “Sheesh. That could have gone smoother, but I’d say that went alright.”
“That went fine!” Woz reassured him. “She just figured I was a body double guy you’d hired, like you said. No reason to suspect you were lying or anything.”
“Well I’m not the most convincing liar, here,” Scott sighed, running his hand through his hair. “But yeah, she bought it. Still... I feel bad lying to just some random person...”
Woz clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it!” He paused. “You know what I mean.”
Scott laughed. “Yeah, yeah. C’mon, we should get going soon, I don’t wanna bump into her again and make her feel awkward. Also everything that just happened, I can reasonably blame on you for bringing up the last time it happened. Ya jinxed us!”
The pair continued down the aisle as Scott once again took out his phone shopping list.
Woz leaned towards him. “Did you see her shirt?” He whispered, not so quietly. “That’s so cool... Gex Night...”
Shooting him a grin, Scott looked at him from the corner of his eye. “I’m guessing you want to ‘borrow’ my shirt that has that design.”
Woz shot the same grin back at him. “Oh, you know me so well.”
Later, once they’d finished up and taken a detour in the car to extend the length of Woz’s adventure to return home with all the goods, Scott opened his laptop with a sigh. Now he had to figure out how to write a joke that included a reasonable use of a body double.
Woz’s suggestions about doing ‘movie sh*t’ with dangerous stunts was less than helpful.
“What kind of Scott The Woz episode requires BASE jumping?” He exclaimed.
As the time got later, Scott slammed the lid of the laptop closed with a sigh, startling Woz who was engrossed in whatever he was playing on the 3DS in his hands.
“We should probably start cooking if we wanna eat at a reasonable time,” Scott announced, getting up.
Woz grinned, standing and snapping his console shut so that he could throw it in his pocket. “What are we making?!”
Scott scratched at his chin. “Well, I thought about it and I figured; why not make pizza? Uh— not the whole thing with the homemade dough. Just the pizza. But we can make the sauce. It should be fun, right?”
Woz considered it. “...Yeah, I’m ready for pizza.”
Scott clapped his hands together. “Let’s go, then.”
The duo got set up in the kitchen, with Scott throwing ingredients onto the counter and mumbling to himself. “I think... Hey, can you just pull up the recipe for the sauce quickly? I forgot.”
Woz saluted, presenting his phone from his pocket. Scott continued to grab utensils, but Woz was tapping away at the screen for a while.
“Can you not find the recipe?” Scott asked, still searching for a rolling pin.
“Uh— hang on...” He grumbled, before letting out a long sigh. “Sorry, my internet connection is nonexistent.”
Scott paused what he was doing, and turned slowly to the other man. “You’ve been living here for how long and you haven’t even asked me for the Wi-Fi password yet?”
Woz laughed. “Oh, I know the password. It just doesn’t connect.”
Now Scott was confused. “Whaddya mean?” He walked over so that Woz could show him the phone.
“I mean, I’m no mechanic tech fixing kind of guy, but I think it’s probably because of this,” he said, waving his fingers vaguely over the large crack on his phone screen as he handed it over.
Absently, Scott flipped the phone around in his hands, turning the screen on and off. “Hm. It works other than that, right?”
Woz nodded. “Yeah. Charges, does phone stuff. Just doesn’t connect.” He shrugged.
“Don’t you want to get it fixed?”
Immediately, Woz shook his head. “Nuh uh. It’s like... it’s an artifact from another reality... like me.” He gestured his hands over himself. “I don’t wanna cause any... problems or anything. Besides, I don’t really use it much anyway. I’ll be fine without it.”
Scott hummed and handed the device back over, pulling out his own phone to look up the recipe instead. “Alright. If ya change your mind, though...”
Woz waved him off. “Eh, I’m good.”
Warily, Scott entrusted Woz with the basic prepping of the ingredients while he began to roll out the store-bought dough into some flat bases. Woz worked slowly, trying not to mess anything up, but kept glancing at what Scott was up to.
“How come you’re rolling out three?”
Scott glanced between Woz and the counter in front of him before his brain processed the question. “Oh! Kate’s gonna eat with us.”
Woz’s eyes widened. “Uh— sorry, am I interrupting you two hanging out?”
Scott waved his hand dismissively. “No, it’s fine. I wasn’t just gonna kick you outta the house.”
Woz played with his hands nervously. “But... I don’t wanna intrude...”
“It’s fine, really!”
“I could go spend some time with the other guys to get out of your hair. Does... Eric have a roommate or something...?”
Scott laughed. “You can be a third wheel if you want to, ‘cause it’s not really a date anyway,” he insisted.
Woz slumped over dramatically. “Urgh, fine. But you gotta get rid of me if you wanna, I’ll go away.”
“Sure, fine. Now get back to that sauce! Or we aren’t even gonna have food.”
Woz jumped, remembering the knife in his hand. He rolled his eyes— Scott wouldn’t let him use a saw to cut everything up with.
***
Woz pulled the cooked pizza out of the oven, holding back tears. He turned, presenting it to Scott and allowed a few tears to slip from his watery eyes. “She’s so beautiful,” he sobbed. “I made a food... that’s actually edible... and she’s perfect...”
Scott laughed and nudged him out of the way so that he could collect the other two pizzas. “Yeah, yeah. I’m proud.”
Woz made a choking noise. “And Scott’s proud of me. This can’t get any better,” he cried.
“Pizza’s done!” Scott yelled, summoning Kate.
“Aw, yeah! These are great,” she grinned, looking over the three pizzas. She punched Woz in the arm. “Great job, Chef.”
Woz threw the pizza down so that he could put his hands on his hips proudly. “I knew I could do it.”
Scott raised his eyebrow. “He actually started crying when I first told him to turn the stove on.”
“Not relevant,” Woz claimed.
The trio ate in the basement, where Scott complained he didn’t have a good surface to cut his pizza with and that he had to use the coffee table.
Woz glared at the knife and fork Scott was holding in his hands. “I have no sympathy for you,” he said simply, while Scott stared in disgust at the pizza grease smeared all over the other man’s hands and sleeves. Somehow.
After dinner, Woz decided to scamper away. “You two can hang out now, I’m gonna go play some games.” He nodded to himself.
The other two watched him sprint across the room to grab some 3DS games off the shelves before dashing away upstairs, the boxes loaded into his arms with some even falling out of his grip and onto the floor.
“He’s quite the character,” Kate joked.
Scott rolled his eyes. “Funny,” he said dryly.
***
[1 WEEK LATER]
[1 MONTH AFTER REALITY LEAKED]
Scott was sitting peacefully at his desk, working, when he heard the thump of footsteps on the stairs. He peered around the side of the monitor to see Woz marching straight towards him.
“You,” was all he said, with his finger pointed at him.
Scott waited for him to continue.
“You didn’t tell me you were gonna get a cat!”
Scott quirked an eyebrow at him. “So?”
Sputtering in an offended way, Woz placed both of his hands on the desk to lean forwards and get in Scott’s face. “I live here, too!”
Now he was just confused. “Do you not like cats?”
“Of course I like cats!”
“...So what’s the problem?”
“I just wanted to come see the cats with you.”
“Oh!” Scott finally understood. “Well, it’s not like you aren’t invited to come along.”
Immediately, Woz’s ‘anger’ vanished. “Oh, that’s cool then. When are ya goin’? I gotta check my calendar...” He pulled out his phone to check his calendar, despite it still lacking any kind of internet connection and also knowing for a fact he had nothing on there.
“Later today, probably. It depends when I can get a viewing booking. It’s one of those shelters where you have to reserve a viewing, or whatever.”
Woz fist pumped. “I’m so ready.”
“Who even told you?”
Woz crossed his arms. “An anonymous source.” He stayed quiet for a moment. “Kate told me.”
“Yeah, ‘course she did. Anyway, I’ll let you know when we’re going. If not today, it’ll be tomorrow. I don’t think it’s that busy that we aren’t gonna be able to get a viewing slot.”
***
As Scott suspected, when he called to book the viewing, they confirmed pretty much immediately and said they could head down to the shelter that day if they wanted.
Woz got shoved in the backseat where he could sit and vibrate excitedly. Occasionally, Scott would glance at him in the mirror curiously.
“So what are you planning on getting?” Woz burst out, leaning forward to stick his head between the two seats so that he could look between Kate and Scott sitting in the front.
Kate thought for a moment. “Well, I just wanted a little kitten. Just a little guy to roam around the house.”
Scott nodded. “I want a kitten. But I wouldn’t be against an older cat or anything if there was one that needed a home more.”
Kate gave him a look with a smile. “How nice of you.”
Scott shrugged. “What? I wouldn’t mind an old cat. I mean it.”
Woz nodded slowly. “Yeah, those old cats are super wise. They know sh*t.”
“What kind of shit?” Scott asked.
Woz looked at him strangely. “How would I know? I’m not a cat.”
“You still doing that bleep when you swear?” Kate wondered.
He nodded. “Yeah. Why not?”
“Just curious,” she elaborated. “I don’t know. I just thought it would go away eventually, I guess. Or not stick around once you got here.”
“I’m— uh— built different,” Woz declared, causing Scott to snort loudly. “The ol’ Border keeps me company, too,” he said, tapping the side of his glasses. “Although... Scott tells me that I’ve been doing less ‘cartoonish gags’ recently. Do you think that’s a bad thing?”
Kate tilted her head. “I wouldn’t know,” she answered honestly.
Woz sighed, resting his head in his hand with his elbow leaning on the box in the middle of the two seats. “Maybe I’m coming down with something.”
“What makes you say that?” Scott asked.
“Am I not acting like myself? Acting strange?”
“You’re always acting strange,” Scott rolled his eyes. “But no, I don’t think you’re not well. I just think... maybe... maybe you’re just not in an environment that lends itself well to cartoonish gags...? Don’t worry about it, man. Sorry if me saying that has been stressing you out.”
Woz finally leaned back into his seat. “Ohhh... I dunno. Maybe I’m just antsy from the lack of action around here recently.”
“Action?” Kate asked bemusedly. “You just had months of crazy stuff going on that only just ended. What more could you want?”
“I’m just waiting for the next big thing!” Woz announced, melting limply into his chair. “It’s so boooorrriinnng waiting for the next big adventure. Usually something happens by now.”
Scott suddenly laughed. “Oh, I get the problem now.”
“What is it?” Woz asked, suddenly darting back forwards again.
“Uh— listen... Life around here... we don’t usually get a whole lot of ‘adventures’ to go on, remember?”
Kate’s eyes widened. “Oh, I see. Yeah, sorry but life is pretty normal on this side of the universe.”
“What!” Woz exclaimed. “But that’s so— that’s so dull! Where do you get your adrenaline kicks?! Sometimes you just need a space invasion or a space excursion or a space invader— something like that. And then you gotta have a fight! Preferably involving video games. And then... and then you wait for it to happen again! Not this... boring life stuff alllll the time.”
The other two both shrugged. “Sorry,” Scott said.
Woz blew a raspberry. “Ugh.”
“Is this not an adventure enough?” Kate gestured at the still-moving car. “We’re gonna get a kitten!”
Woz’s dramatically downturned expression immediately transformed into his signature grin. “Now we’re talkin’!’
Scott eyed him in the mirror again. “Happy now?”
“I’m always happy,” he winked.
***
Upon arriving at the shelter, the trio were met by an almost-empty parking lot, causing Scott to be confused. Briefly, he wondered if they were actually even open. So why did they answer his call...?
Woz was already marching his way to the front door, waving the couple over, who were both still idling around the car.
“They aren’t closed!” He called.
Scott and Kate glanced at each other before making their way over to join him. Awkwardly, they pushed open the stiff door and were blasted with the unnecessarily cold A/C. Both Scott and Woz shrugged their shoulders up and grimaced.
A brief laugh interrupted them and the group looked to their left to see the source. It was a woman behind a short reception counter. She was sitting in front of an idle PC with her phone in one hand while she twirled some of her ginger hair that had escaped her ponytail with the other.
“Yeah, sorry, it’s a little broken at the moment. Just in here though, thankfully,” she apologized. “Well I’m assuming you just want to get straight to lookin’ at the animals, right?” She didn’t wait for a response before she turned to the computer.
“Uh, not very busy today?” Scott hummed, glancing around.
“No, we haven’t got many puppies or kittens at the moment, and that’s what people wanna see so...”
They waited a moment as she leaned in close to the screen and tapped away at the keyboard while Woz bounced impatiently on his heels.
“Uhh— I think we had three viewings today...” she half-murmured. “Are you... Stevens or... Wozn— ‘Woz-knee-ack’? Wozniak?” She peered over the top of the monitor at them.
Scott raised his hand slightly. “Uh, yes, Scott Wozniak, that’s me.”
“Sweet,” she said simply, slapping the enter key before standing from the desk and making her way around it. “It’s just me at the moment, we’re closing soon, anyway. So I’ll just show you around.”
The employee rummaged around a box, flicking through some blank papers and looking for a clipboard. She turned to them. “So, who’s with ya today?” She asked Scott, filling the silence so that it wasn’t just her rummaging.
Kate spoke first. “I’m Kate.” She waved.
Woz opened his mouth but then froze. Scott briefly wondered why he’d clammed up before he realized. “Uh— I’m Todd.”
Scott immediately sent him the most deadpan look he could manage. In response, Woz looked at him with a defensive shrug. The woman did not see their antics.
“Well, hey.” She made her way to the main door and motioned them to follow. “I’m Sally the volunteer and I’ll be your guide today,” she said in a half-assed voice. “Cats are down this way. Dogs are on the other side of the building, just because they tend to be louder— gives the other animals a little more peace; don’t wanna stress ‘em out with the barking. Then we got a couple rabbits in the back, reptiles through that door at the end and in that room we have some bird cages and a cage for guinea pigs.”
As she talked, she pointed all around at different doors. The group could barely keep up. Suddenly, she stopped walking and slapped herself in the forehead. “Forgot my pen. Just— the cats are in the room at the end there, kitty sticker on the door. I’ll catch up.”
Scott was about to question if that was against some kind of animal safety regulation but she was already hurrying away. Woz shrugged and kept walking, so the other two just decided to follow.
“I still think that you should get a giant killer dog instead. Then you can get it to guard the house.”
Scott actually stopped walking to turn and look at Woz. “Wh— Guard it from what? And whaddya mean ‘still think’— since when has this been an idea of yours?!”
Woz shrugged. “It’s a good idea! And you never know when there’ll be bears around.”
“Bears? There aren’t— there aren’t any bears!”
Woz crossed his arms, looking at him seriously. “You never know...”
Scott waved his arms around, searching for words. “There aren’t— and even if there were bears, I’d just buy a-a gun or a taser or something. Why would I get a... giant killer dog?!”
“Oh— nonono!” Woz shook his head vehemently. “I am firmly against tasers.”
“What?” Scott just sounded breathlessly confused at this point.
Woz placed his hands firmly on his hips. “Have you ever been tased before? Well I have! And it ouches... it’s not fun! First you’re like— ‘ow! That stings!’ Then, you’re like— ‘ARARARA!’” He shook all of his limbs out with locked-up joints, staring straight ahead, in a cartoonish impression of an electric shock.
At this point, Kate couldn’t hold in her laughter any longer, snorting suddenly. “I— what?” She laughed. “I swear, I don’t know what the hell you’re saying half the time,” she chuckled.
Woz grinned devilishly. “Aha! That means when the bears come, I can easily confuse them too! It’s the perfect strategy...”
“For the last time, there aren’t any fucking bears!” Scott exclaimed, exasperated.
Suddenly, he glimpsed movement from the corner of his eye and spotted Sally the volunteer standing just behind their group, watching with a raised eyebrow.
She didn’t say anything for a moment, tapping a Sharpie against the back of her hand. “Is... everything alright, here?”
Scott cleared his throat. “Um. Yeah, things are fine. Uh— where was the room...?”
The volunteer rolled her eyes and waved them to follow along the last few paces to where the cat room was. Inside the ‘room’ was more of a storage closet-sized space, with a door on either side.
Scott frowned. ‘What a maze.’
She gestured on the left first. “Oldies get put in here, but the younger cats go in that room.” She pointed her thumb to the right. “Just ‘cause the kittens get along with each other better, y’know?” She unlocked the door. “I’m gonna make sure the other cats are looking presentable, feel free to say hi to the two in the kitten room. I... think I can trust you guys on your own for a minute? Or are you gonna... accuse the kittens of being bears or something and tase them?”
Scott’s face went bright red and Woz let out a loud ‘HA!’.
The volunteer laughed loudly. “Also, I’m pretty sure we do have bears around here, just so you know. Black bears,” she hummed, before exiting the room.
Woz slapped his knee. “I knew it! Those bastards thought they could hide from me...”
Scott looked to the ceiling. “I don’t know you. I don’t know this man. He has no association with me,” he muttered.
The three entered the room and immediately, two tiny heads poked up from behind some cardboard boxes.
Woz immediately melted. “Awwee! Look! Look!” He pointed at the tabby face that quickly ducked away behind the cardboard again.
Scott spied a feather toy on the ground. He quickly inspected it, noticing it had a bell attached, and shook it to get the attention of the cats.
A black blur shot out from its hiding place and leaped, attempting to snatch the toy from mid air. Scott flinched back, not expecting such a sudden attack. Woz laughed at him.
“Look at the little guy!”
Both cats began to playfight with each other, rolling around on the carpeted floor of the small room. Scott and Woz both watched them while Kate hunted around for anything on a stick, finding another feather with a bell that was attached to a kind of fishing rod. “Here,” she said, stepping forward to dangle it above both of the kittens’ heads.
They both leapt repeatedly for the feather, amusing Scott.
“Wow, they really don’t care about new people, do they?” He commented.
The tabby kitten lost interest in the toy, letting the other kitten take it, and instead found a new interest in sniffing around Scott’s legs. He scooped up the little cat, holding the furry beast in his hands. The tabby was definitely a fluffy thing— its long fur was puffing out its cheeks and chest in long tufts, looking almost spiky. The tail was like a feather duster. He saw that its eyes were brown and very wide as they stared back at him.
“Hey there, lil’ guy,” Scott cooed, hoping it wasn’t scared of him. In response, the kitten squirmed in his hands and he had to put the cat back down.
However, it didn’t dart away, instead deciding to continue its investigation of his legs.
“I’m not sure if he likes you or not,” Woz said, tilting his head. “Gettin’ mixed signals.”
“It’s probably just curious.” Kate shrugged. She scooped up the black kitten that was still punching the feather on the floor where she was standing.
Woz marched over immediately so that he could scratch the kitten on its head. It responded with a tiny purr.
“Oh my God!” Woz exclaimed. “I love him,” he stated seriously, his eyes very wide.
“I like this one,” Scott smiled at the tabby kitten that was rolling around against his shoes.
Kate handed the black kitten over to Woz, who immediately froze. “What do I do with it...?” He asked nervously.
Scott rolled his eyes and petted the cat on the head. This one actually had a few spots of white on it, but was mostly black. A small dash of white on its muzzle as well as a white patch on its chest and then white socked feet.
“He’s a sweet kitten,” Scott grinned before the kitten began to wriggle its way out of Woz’s grip.
The employee opened the door suddenly, spooking all three of them. “How are they? They aren’t being little rascals, are they?”
“No, they’re very friendly, actually. I’m surprised.” Scott ran a hand through his hair.
She waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah, they’re like that. They’re just well-socialized.” She quickly jotted something down on the clipboard she’d been holding under her arm before she looked around at them all. “Do you wanna see the older cats now? And then I can let you look around at the other animals, or...” she trailed off.
Scott looked at the other two, who were also looking back at him. “We can see the older cats now, if that’s alright.”
They were led to the other room, which wasn’t an open space like the kittens’ room. Instead, each cat had their own decently-sized cage which lined the walls.
There were four cats in the cages at the moment. Only two of the cats were awake and stared at the visitors. One of the pairs of eyes belonged to a very fluffy tabby cat. It also had patches of white and ginger on it as well, and was a darker brown than the tabby kitten in the other room, who was more of a gray kind of color. The other staring cat was black and white. This one was another long-haired cat, who was mostly white underneath and black on top. A stripe of white went up his forehead.
The employee pointed to the black and white cat. “He’s almost nine now.” She moved her finger to the tabby. “She’s somewhere around eight years old, we can’t be completely sure.”
She then brought their attention to the other two cats in the cage. One of them was a calico and the other a fully black cat. Both of these two had visible gray hairs. They were both pointed at again by the volunteer.
“Our seniors. She’s almost sixteen! And he’s ten.”
Scott was reluctant to mess with the sleeping cats, but when he tried to say hello to the other two, they backed up in their cages away from him. Woz looked at the black and white cat sadly, who crouched down with his tail swishing rapidly.
“They don’t like guests, huh?” Scott mumbled.
“I’m afraid not,” Sally sighed. “It’s a shame. You don’t have to feel bad if you like the kittens more.”
Scott glanced to Kate, who glanced back. “Can we see the kittens again?”
The kittens were happy to see them again. Scott wondered if they were purposely trying to play up their ‘cute factor’ in order to get themselves homes.
He looked between the two. Time to make a choice.
“Well... I think I’d like the tabby one. What do you guys think?”
Before he could get responses, the woman interrupted. “Actually, these are a bonded pair. If you get one, you have to get both. Sorry.”
Woz immediately stared at him with gleaming eyes and Scott sighed, grinning. “Sure, why not. Uh— I don’t have a carrier, though. And I still need to pick up some litter and some litter boxes...”
“We sell those here, if you want to take a look. And we have carriers, of course— we don’t usually expect people to bring their own carriers. Although I’d recommend getting a better one when you get the chance to.”
“Is that it, then? We can just take these two with us?” Kate asked.
The volunteer nodded. “Yep. Just gotta do some paperwork and that’s it. Who’s gonna come do that with me?”
Scott waved. “That’ll be me.”
“Cool. You two just wait here, we’ll be back in a minute with the carriers.”
Woz saluted and immediately began to play with the kittens using the feather on a stick. “They really like this thing,” he beamed.
“We should see if we can take it with us, or find out where they got it from.”
Woz agreed. “Hmm.”
They settled into silence. Kate decided to sit on the floor with the tabby cat, who was rolling around again. She decided she wanted to break the quiet.
Woz beat her to it. “Man, I wish I’d gotten a cat back home...” he lamented. “These things are pretty cool.” He pointed at the animal, who looked back at him curiously. “Maybe I should do that...”
“Wow, it’s been a while now since you got here,” Kate pointed out. “We should probably get you set up with somewhere better to sleep. You can’t just live on the couch forever.”
Woz’s grin wavered slightly. “It’s fine, I don’t mind the couch! And I’ll be gone as soon as I can get back home, so there’s no need to waste a bunch of time getting a room made up for me or anything.”
Kate frowned at him. “When you get back home? But Scott said—”
“Alright, here we go!” Scott accidentally interrupted, re-entering the room with the carriers in his hands. “All ready!”
“That was quick!” Woz leapt to attention.
The volunteer appeared behind them all, clapping her hands together. “Let’s get these guys boxed up and ready to go to their new home!”
***
[3 MONTHS AFTER REALITY LEAKED]
Woz had been feeling kind of down for a while now. It all stemmed from another conversation about how he was missing a whole bunch of legal documentation that he needed. No birth certificate, no social security number...
It had made him realize how much he would struggle to have an ordinary life.
The only reason he wasn’t struggling at the moment, was because of Scott’s generosity. It still surprised him how much Scott had turned around from his initial opinions of him. At the beginning, Scott had downright hated him. But now here he was, letting him live in his house for free.
Earlier today, Scott had suggested they go to IKEA and go furniture shopping for a closet and a bedframe and a mattress.
Woz was acutely aware of how much he was relying on Scott. He had no one else. His family and friends were gone; in another world. He was alone here. He just had Scott. And Scott’s friends. That was it.
So what was he supposed to do with his life now?
Who was he without Scott?
He’d started getting some editing lessons from Scott. To help with Scott’s work. He didn’t have his own job, not really.
He didn’t have a car or a license. He couldn’t go out on his own without at least partially pretending to be Scott.
If he was recognised in public, they would mistake him for someone else. For Scott. All anyone would see is Scott The Woz and not... himself.
He missed his old life. Just being... a guy. Just an unemployed guy, talking about his games and sometimes getting into shenanigans with his friends.
Honestly, he just wasn’t used to this kind of attention— he had a little bit of stage fright, truthfully. Scott could handle the stage lights, but Woz would rather stay in the shadows.
Of course, he knew they were definitely different people now. Two sides of the same coin. But... it just hurt a little that it really did seem like he didn’t exist without Scott, now.
He wanted to be his own person. But how does he branch out? At first, he was excited at the idea of using his video game talker skills at a game store before he had realized the ‘getting recognised as Scott’ problem immediately. Just getting in his way again.
So he had to work from home. He had to work with Scott. For Scott.
And it was good work! It was fun, he had a great time doing it... just— he wished he could do more. He wished he had more choice.
He wished he wasn’t stuck.
The depression spiral left him restless and unable to sleep. He wanted to do something while also knowing that there was nothing he could do. He just wandered around the house aimlessly instead.
Unbeknownst to him, his idle wandering had woken and alerted Scott, who was curious to what Woz could be up to at this hour.
So, whilst Woz dawdled his way back to his ‘bed’ to go back to staring, depressed, at his phone, Scott crept downstairs.
When he entered the basement, Woz was sitting on the couch, in the dark. Hunched over, cradling his phone. Light from the device spilled over him, vaguely revealing his silhouette, but the shadows largely hid his face and the expression that he wore.
Scott tiptoed closer. He could feel the dense energy in the air. His heart was torn. Woz was clearly having a moment, here. Did he confront Woz and risk shattering something? Or should he leave— pretend he was never here— and leave the man in peace?
Woz was staring past the large crack in the phone screen, at a photo. Scott squinted, he was too curious for his own good. He needed a better look.
It was Target Employee.
The image was blurred slightly; taken by an unsteady hand, yet it just captured the moment in such a real way. The smudgy movement accentuated the grin plastered across the man’s face, as he was beginning to hold up an arm to hide himself from the camera.
Such a simple photo. Well, to him, sure. But it was the story behind a photo that gave it its life, no? And he didn’t know this story. So he just didn’t get it.
Scott opened his mouth to speak up, but his voice caught in his throat. His jaw worked soundlessly for a moment. What could he say? This was a... sensitive moment. He tried again, ready to clear his pipes.
Woz sniffled.
Scott immediately clammed up.
Woz’s grip slowly tightened around the phone as he gently moved his thumb to swipe sideways, viewing another photo. Which then started autoplaying into a video.
The room in the video— the basement, judging by the couch— was fairly dark, and showed Woz and Target sitting with each other, watching something and clearly not noticing the camera pointed at them. Woz rested his head happily on Target’s shoulder, who placed his hand tenderly on the other’s head, gently running his fingers through Woz’s hair, combing the long locks so that they fluffed up. Target leaned down slightly to whisper something in Woz’s ear. Immediately, his face split from a content smile into a huge grin and he began to squeak out a laugh. Target joined in.
Behind the camera, someone started to make dramatic retching noises, catching the attention of the two men being recorded.
‘Hey!’ Woz whined.
‘Stop bein’ all lovey-dovey and watch the damn movie,’ the cameraman laughed— Rex.
‘Rude,’ Woz complained, just before the video stopped.
Woz quickly swiped on the phone screen. He sniffled again, and Scott swore it sounded a little more like a laugh. Still too curious (or too nosey— he could admit it), he looked again.
This was another photo taken by someone else, as it showed both Woz and Target Employee sitting on the couch together, sleeping peacefully and sharing a blanket that was draped across both of their legs. Target had his arm around the other man’s shoulders, whilst holding his phone limply in the other, his head drooping forwards so that his chin was against his chest. Meanwhile Woz had what looked like a magazine balanced on his palms, facing upwards, on his lap with his head thrown back and jaw hanging open.
Now it sounded like Woz was crying again. Scott grimaced, fidgeting with his hands, before finally making his decision. He hurriedly stepped a ways back from the couch, as if he’d only just come down the stairs to the basement. He cleared his throat properly, and Woz’s head snapped up to look straight ahead.
“Hey, uh, you alright down here? Need anything?”
Scott thought he heard Woz clearing his own throat.
Woz’s voice was still audibly shaky. “No, um... no, I’m fine. I’m good.”
Scott hesitated for a moment. “Are you sure...?”
Woz waited even longer. Long enough that Scott wondered if he’d been heard, or if Woz had suddenly gone comatose.
“No,” he finally whispered, just loud enough for Scott’s ears to pick up on.
His heart sank. “What’s up? Anything I can... uh, help with?”
A pause. “I don’t think so.”
“Oh.”
Scott chewed on his lip, running his hand through his hair and tapping his foot.
“Sorry,” Woz stumbled over his words, voice still trembling.
“No, no, sorry— I should... mind my business. It’s just that it sounded like you were—” Scott prematurely winced. “—crying.”
Woz reached up, rubbing at his face with his sleeve. “Yeah,” he admitted quietly.
“Is it something you wanna talk about?” Scott pressed, wringing his hands, still unseen in his spot standing behind the couch.
Woz considered the offer, letting Scott’s words sit until the silence officially became thick with awkwardness.
“Okay,” he answered.
Scott breathed out deeply before making his way around the couch. He grabbed the remote for the TV from the coffee table, switching it on to quickly serve as a temporary light instead of using the bright basement lights.
Woz was taking up Scott’s usual corner, leaving him to settle himself down gently in Sam’s usual spot. Woz looked away, embarrassed, but Scott couldn’t help but feel more empathetic at the sight of his rosy cheeks and damp face. He waited for Woz to talk.
“It’s... it’s Target Employee. You remember we’re... together, right?”
“Yeah, I remember.” Scott cast his mind back to when he’d found out. It had been quite a weird conversation between him and Dominic and Sam and Joe— discussing the bizarreness of their characters being in both ongoing and past relationships.
“Well I just... I miss him...” Woz confessed in a small voice. “If I’m stuck here... when am I gonna get to see him again?”
Scott stayed quiet. He knew that the way things were looking... Woz making it back to his reality was probably something that would never happen. Never happen.
Like... that connection shit between realities was closed now, right? There quite literally wasn’t a way back. Not anymore.
Woz picked at his nails. “But there isn’t a way back now, right?”
Scott swallowed those exact words he had just been thinking about spitting out.
Woz continued, “I am never going to see him again. I will never be able to see him ever again. He’s gone forever.”
“You say that like he’s dead—”
Woz’s eyes swiveled sharply to the side to cut him off. “He might as well be.”
Scott couldn’t respond to that.
“Well it’s true, isn’t it?” Woz sensed Scott’s discomfort. “If I’m stuck over here forever, then I’m never seeing him again. And if all I have of us now are photos and memories to hold on to... how is that any different to— to grief? To mourning someone you’ve lost who’s died? ‘Cause it’s the same thing, isn’t it? Can’t make any more new memories.”
Scott tried to still his fidgeting, still searching for the right words.
Woz rubbed at his eyes, miserable. “And I have no way of knowing how he’s doing. What he’s doing. I can’t call, ask someone to check on him. I can’t get a plane ticket and visit. I’m just... stuck.” He made a vague gesture with his hands. “For all I know, he had some kind of stroke or aneurysm two minutes ago and now he’s dead. I just wouldn’t know. I can’t ever know.”
“I’m so sorry,” Scott whispered.
Woz finally returned to making eye contact with him. “How long until he moves on from me?”
Scott gaped at him, eyes wide. “He wouldn’t— you know he wouldn’t...”
“And why’s that?” He replied bitterly. “It’s the same deal from his perspective. He’s never going to see me again. He doesn’t know what happened to me. If anything, he has more of a reason to think I died than I have to think he’s died. We didn’t exactly leave my reality in the best and... most reassuring circumstances.”
“But he doesn’t know anything for certain. How could he just move on? Never knowing the truth. I think he’s going to try everything he can to get back to you.”
“But he can’t!” Woz sobbed. “That’s the thing! He can’t get back to me now. We can’t find each other now. This is it. And he’s going to keep trying and waiting and it’s going to break him. I don’t want that. I want him to be happy. And— and if moving on and— and finding someone else is what makes him happy... then... that’s what I want.”
“You can’t just... want him to move on like that!”
“Do you not want him to move on and be happy?” Woz snapped.
Scott frowned. “You know I don’t mean it like that.”
“Then how do you mean it?” Woz shot back. He knew he was being unfair now, but he couldn’t help letting these harsh feelings leak out of his heart.
Scott sighed. “Well, of course I want him to be happy. But I also want you to be happy. And you’re happy with him. He makes you happy.”
“Well, not anymore, he can’t,” Woz muttered.
Scott scrunched up his face. “Listen... I-I know it hurts—”
“No you DON’T! No you don’t know!” Woz stood up, clenching his fists by his sides. “Because you still have your girlfriend,” his voice shook. “And you still have your friends. And you still have your family. You didn’t lose.”
“They can be your friends and family too, now, y’know? If you want that,” Scott spoke gently.
Woz’s face crumpled. “And what? Replace all my family and friends? With— with replicas or whatever?”
Scott’s brain lagged as he kicked himself for saying the wrong thing again. “No, I— you know I don’t mean that. I was just—”
Woz waved his arm widely, stopping him. “No, I... I know. I get it.”
Silence fell and Scott chewed his lip. Woz sat back down.
Neither of them said anything for a while.
Woz made a choked noise. “I just miss him so much,” he wailed. “And I’m never gonna stop missing him. All of them. They’re all gone. How am I meant to live like this?”
Scott slowly reached out, gently placing his hand on the other’s, staying silent.
“What do I do? Do I keep trying to get back to them? Do I move on? Should I really just be giving up on them like this?” He sniffed wetly. “I was so happy... ‘cause I gained something new. I got you. I got my brother. But what did I lose?”
Scott squeezed their hands together.
Woz breathed out deeply. “Was it too much to ask for something good to happen, not in exchange for something else? I didn’t want to trade.” More tears were rolling down his reddened cheeks. “I didn’t want to trade.”
Scott didn’t interrupt as Woz tried desperately to get his tears and his breathing under control.
“And it’s the way I’m always gonna be reminded of him. And it’s... awkward for you, y’know? Because he’s your friend but he looks like—”
“No, no. Don’t even worry about it.” Scott waved his hands. “It’s fine, I understand. We understand. I’d never judge you for acting weird about it or anything like that. ‘Cause it’s not your fault. You know what I mean.”
“Alright...” Woz shuffled his feet, unsure.
“I mean it. If you want me to tell Dom to fuck off and never go within a ten foot radius of you, I’ll do it.”
Woz cracked a wobbly smile. “No you wouldn’t. He’s too nice; you’d feel terrible.”
“But if it made you more comfortable, I would.”
Woz shook his head. “I need to just get used to it. Yeah, they all look like my friends but they... they act different, you know? And eventually that’ll stick in my brain and I’ll be better. I think. I hope.”
“Alright, if you’re sure. But you just say the word, okay? And I’ll kick everyone out.”
Woz sniffed loudly. “Thank you.” He looked down at the phone, still gently cradled in his lap.
Scott saw where he was looking, taking his chance. “What were you looking at?”
Woz glanced up. “Huh?”
“I saw you looking at your phone. When I came in.”
Woz tapped his fingers against the device. “Nothing. Just old photos, I mean.”
Scott kicked at the rug. “Anything you want, uh, backing up? Uh, just ‘cause I see that crack on the screen. Don’t wanna lose anything.”
Woz’s expression softened. “Please. I don’t want to lose my camera roll or any pictures of my friends.”
Scott nodded. “I’ll get everything uploaded in the morning, don’t worry about it.”
“Thank you,” Woz hummed.
The silence this time was considerably more comfortable. Scott kept kicking at the rug.
“You know, you don’t have to always pretend that you’re okay.”
“What?”
Scott turned away slightly. “You know, if you’re feeling sad or uncomfortable or homesick or whatever, you can share that. Don’t need to keep it all bottled up just ‘cause you’re supposed to be ‘the silly one’ or anything like that.”
“Oh.”
“We’re here for you. We just can’t help if ya don’t speak up, y’know?”
“Right, right,” Woz muttered, fidgeting with his hands.
He tried, but Scott couldn’t fight back the huge yawn that suddenly hit him.
Woz frowned. “You can go back to sleep. I’m alright now.”
Scott shrugged. “I can stay here if you want me to. I don’t mind.”
Woz shook his head. “I think I might try and sleep now, so you might as well go back upstairs.”
Scott sighed through his nose. “Okay. Well, if you need anything, don’t be shy about it. You know where I am.”
Woz hummed, rubbing at his eyes again. “Yeah, yeah, of course.”
Happy with the response, Scott nodded. “Alright. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” Woz smiled.
Standing up and cracking his back, Scott remembered to switch off the TV before he left, strolling back up the basement stairs and up to his room.
Woz threw himself back on the seat, staring at the ceiling and clutching at his borrowed blanket.
It took him a while to even remember to take off his glasses; too preoccupied with his staring contest with the soundproof padding above him.
And it was a while before he slept, still weighed down by the pieces of his broken heart.
***
[6 MONTHS AFTER REALITY LEAKED]
Scott huffed, eyeing Woz up and down. The man across from him shuffled uncomfortably as Scott reached over to brush at his shoulders again.
“I dunno...” Scott hummed.
“I’m still not wearing a suit. We’re not wearing suits. It’s a casual visit, not a wedding.”
Scott raised his hands defensively. “Gotta make good first impressions!”
Woz rolled his eyes. “This shirt is fine. And you look fine. Stop worrying.”
Scott buried his face in his hands, worming his fingers under his glasses to massage his eyes. “It’s just— you know these aren’t any kind of normal circumstances. I have literally zero predictions on how this is gonna go. Sue me for being a little freaked out.”
“You need some more baseless optimism in your life. Some of that ‘nothing can ever go wrong’ juice.”
“You’re describing either drugs or alcohol, there,” Scott muttered, rummaging around for a hair comb.
“I think we’re going to be late,” Woz commented, looking at the time on his cracked phone.
“It’s not a formal event, we’re allowed to be fashionably late,” Scott said, still looking for that comb.
“See! See!” Woz pointed at him. “Now you’re being hypocritical! You’re being hypocritical now. Let’s just go already, before I die from boredom and then you have to drag my corpse to meet your family instead. Good luck explaining that one.”
Scott shot him a look and grunted, finally raising the found comb to scrape it vigorously through his hair. “Fine. Go get in the car.”
“Nope.” Woz marched over, steering Scott by his shoulders towards the front door. “We’re going.”
Scott let out a dramatic whine as he reluctantly grabbed his keys and locked the door behind him.
The pair buckled themselves into Scott’s car, but before he switched the engine on, he turned to Woz. “Please be good.”
Woz scoffed, grinning. “What am I, five years old? I got this. We got this.”
“We got this,” Scott repeated with a sigh as he hit the gas.
The drive was long; an annoying perk of living in a Nothing-For-Miles State. But still... it could be worse, Scott considered. At least it was still a do-able drive.
For all of his talk of ‘baseless optimism’, Scott could tell that Woz actually was nervous about this. In return, Scott let him have control over the radio, which he was sure that the other man was wordlessly grateful for.
But before he could still fully think about things— planning out conversations, mentally preparing answers for the inevitable onslaught of questions— he was bringing the car to a stop. He stared straight ahead through the window.
Woz looked at him sideways. “You’re not ready?”
Scott drummed on the wheel. “Ah, no,” he replied breathlessly.
“‘Fake it ‘til you make it’?” Woz suggested with a small grin.
Reluctant, Scott huffed out a long sigh. “Why do I make these decisions...?” He muttered to himself, opening his door.
His double followed, letting Scott lead the way up the drive to the front door.
He looked over at Woz for reassurance one last time before hitting the doorbell. The chime echoed to the outside of the house. Making a quick decision, Woz ducked away to the side, just out of immediate sight of the doorway.
Scott gnawed at his lip, repeatedly running his hand through his hair, heart hammering doubletime in his ribs and every thought in the speech centers of his brain stalling.
Then the door opened.
“Scott!”
“Hi, mom.” He quickly accepted her embrace.
“Well, come on in!” She stepped aside for him.
Scott cleared his throat. “Uh, actually... there was somebody I wanted to introduce you to.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
Quickly glancing sideways, Scott made eye contact with Woz and they both nodded. The man who was a near-spitting image of himself stepped into view, revealing himself.
Here we go.
The confused mother now had both eyebrows raised.
Scott’s brain finally decided on its action.
“How do you feel about twins?” He asked.
She blinked at him, glancing between them both. “What? Who is this?”
Scott gestured aimlessly with his hands for a moment, failing to form words. “This is... Scott.”
Woz waved, snapping his arm robotically. “Hey all, Scott here! Nice to meet you.”
Scott’s mom opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, still looking between the pair. “What?”
Scott’s grin widened painfully. “It is a long story.”
His tone of voice caused her eyes to narrow suspiciously. “So tell me it.”
Woz and Scott locked eyes with each other before the former mouthed ‘sorry’.
Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Scott addressed his mother. “Can we come in, first? You’re gonna wanna be sitting down.”
It took a few hours of explanation, as Scott had predicted. Lots of questions. He was used to long hours of voiceover work, and even he was feeling the stress on his vocal cords. But despite all the questioning... there had been very little... reaction to it all. That made him more anxious.
And he’d just been waiting for the end of his story to come along and then pass, knowing that, if anything, that would be where the explosion happened. But nope.
It was just the three of them, for now. Woz kept his commentary light, letting Scott take the reins and content to merely raise his hand and give a sentence or two of his input every now and then. Scott kept up most of the talking. Scott’s mom stayed quiet aside from those questions of hers.
And then he was done; ‘The End’ hanging unsaid in the air.
His mother hummed. “All that... happened?”
Scott nodded quickly. His heart was teetering on the precipice of a giant ravine.
She didn’t say anything for a while.
Woz cut the silence with a light scritch scritch as he scratched at his unshaven face.
“So,” she finally said, instantly capturing both of their attentions. “This is— you’re my son from... another reality...?”
Woz bobbed his head up and down.
“And you... visited here temporarily. But now it’s permanent?”
Woz nodded again.
“So you have no way of getting back home?”
Scott bit his lip. Another nod from Woz.
“So you’ve moved in with Scott as his... new twin brother?”
Woz grinned widely. “Yup. And here we are.”
Scott picked at his jeans. “So yeah, we thought we’d visit and let you know about these... developments.” He scratched shyly at the back of his head. “And the whole... ‘new son’ thing.”
Scott’s mother glanced between the pair of them, an unreadable expression on her face. Many moments passed, and Scott grew more and more concerned.
“Okay,” she said finally. “Okay.”
Scott and Woz waited with bated breath. The woman sighed.
“I guess— okay, I might need a minute to think about this all.”
“That’s fine!” Scott reassured her hurriedly. “It’s a lot.”
“I don’t know if I’d believe you if the evidence wasn’t right in front of me. And to think, we’ll have to convince your father too when he gets back...”
“Take all the time in the world,” Scott said. “We’re— uh— we’re around. Right?” He looked to Woz, who nodded vigorously.
“Well,” his mom said finally. “I guess I’ll have to do what moms do best... Where are my photo albums?”
Scott grinned at Woz, whose eyes widened. He looked at Scott. “Is she gonna show me childhood photos?”
Scott laughed. “I guess so.”
“You need catching up!” The woman smiled. “I hope you weren’t thinking about heading home already. Please stay for the afternoon.”
Scott smiled. “Of course, mom.” He looked at Woz. “Do you wanna stay?”
Woz thought about it. Thought about everything.
“Yeah. I wanna stay. Home isn’t goin’ anywhere.”
***
So they spent the afternoon with Scott’s parents. Woz saw so many family photos, they were all starting to blend together in his head. And then Scott’s dad had showed up, and it seemed like they’d had to retell the entire story. But... it went well. It went really well.
Obviously, he felt like he was talking to strangers. These weren’t his parents. But he was starting to warm up to them.
And... then they were heading out. They had to drive home, after all, and they weren’t staying for dinner. He’d enjoyed the visit, but Woz was glad that they were leaving— his social battery was running low and his presence in all this conversation was kind of fading away a little. But he was still present enough to process it when Scott’s mom gathered him up in a hug before releasing him and ruffling his hair.
“Come visit again soon, okay?” She said. “It’s so great to have someone new as a part of the family.”
The words rang through his head as Scott said goodbye to his parents and the two made it back to their parked car.
Before he knew it, they were on the road again. It seemed Scott was also a little tired out, as he didn’t strike up any kind of conversation once they were both buckled in and going.
Although Woz felt elated at the thought of being part of the family... he couldn’t help but feel that trickle of sadness. This was just another thing sticking him to Scott, preventing him from separating. But hadn’t he wanted this?
The man stared out of the window sullenly, letting the sound of the car and the radio become white noise to his thoughts.
“You alright?” Scott asked, noticing his mood immediately.
Was he alright?
He was content. At least, that’s what he told everyone.
This new life... it was something else. It was good to him.
But he knew he couldn’t ever be truly happy here. Despite all the joys, the new things, the new people. He had such great new friends.
He missed Rex and Jeb and Jerry and Terry. He missed Target Employee. But Eric and Sam and Justin and Joe and Dominic were great. And Kate too! And Scott was an amazing brother.
And so he lied. When people asked him if he was alright, he said yes. They couldn’t solve his problem. It would be unfair to tell them that he wasn’t alright— then they’d try and help him. They couldn’t.
The only thing that could help him would be the ability to go home.
At some point he’d accepted the truth.
He couldn’t go home.
This was home now.
Whether he liked it or not.
Where’s Woz gone?
---
Non-canon/canon divergence - Part of the ‘Brothers’ timeline
It had been a week.
One week since Target Employee had last seen Scott Wozniak.
One second, the room had been filled with that bittersweet cheerfulness as everyone had gotten introduced to each other, and then the next... everyone was gone.
And then he had turned to Jeb and Rex and his Scott to talk and then— and then—
He wasn’t there. He wasn’t with them.
Both Scotts... gone.
Even the thoughts of the reappearance of his deceased brother were pushed aside in his brain as the overwhelming worry for Woz took front and center attention. Worry for Scott.
“It’s alright,” Rex had said, and immediately Target disagreed with that. “He’s with the rest of them, they can take care of him.”
“That’s my job,” Target had protested. “And we don’t even know that’s true.”
As always, Jeb was there to make known his remark, “Well there’s no point in taking the negative view. Sure, we don’t know he’s okay. But, like, we also don’t know if he’s not okay. Point is, we don’t know sh*t and the only option we have is to wait for the news to come to us.”
Target wanted to retort, his jaw opening and closing indecisively until he finally gave up with a sigh, drooping over. “I guess...” he muttered.
Jeb held his hands up defensively. “Hey, I don’t like waitin’ either, but what else are we really gonna do?”
That was a week ago.
The entire night they had waited. Rex had suggested a rotation on sleep so that there was always someone on watch in case of emergency, which they stuck to.
They kept waiting around. Jeb wrote an apology note to stick to the kitchen counter as Rex ransacked the pantry for breakfast food. And then later food for lunch. And then dinner.
It had felt like something inside of him shattered when he’d watched the clock tell him it had officially been 24 hours.
Rex and Jeb had held him as he cried. He thought about his dead brother’s arms around him too and cried harder.
They all stayed the night again. Morning came. No signs. Rex and Jeb went home. Well, they had to, eventually.
Target stayed another day.
Somehow, it was even worse than that first day. Probably because it was just him, all on his own, staring at plain blue walls until he was almost hallucinating the shape of Scott’s shadow appearing there. But there was still nothing and he knew— he knew so deep in his heart that it really had been too long now.
It had been too long.
So, yeah. It had been a week since Scott Wozniak vanished.
How do you file a missing persons report for someone who’s gone missing from this dimension entirely?
***
Terry frowned as his gaze passed over the group of three in front of him. They called before they showed up, of course, but they had been very vague over the phone. Something about Scott? Whatever it was, despite the underlying sound of pure panic in their voices, he hadn’t expected to open his door to... this.
Target’s eyes were red and framed by deep and dark shadows. Clearly he hadn’t slept well recently. Jeb was frowning— to anyone else he would seem angry. But Terry knew the man well, and knew that there was a sense of panic hiding behind that expression. Rex wore his emotions clearly, the concern for the other two written plain on his face. It was obvious he wanted to talk, but wasn’t sure about being the first one to speak.
Wow, something really must have rattled him, then.
“So I haven’t heard from you three in about a week, and then you suddenly call, can’t elaborate, and then show up on my doorstep?” He tilted his head. “Where is Scott?”
Wrong thing to say. Target Employee’s face instantly morphed into an even deeper look of despair, if that was even possible. For all of his pre-assessment of the mood... Terry had clearly misread something here. Something about Scott. Duh, that was obvious. Something had happened to Scott.
“...Oh no,” was all he said.
Rex finally stepped forward. “We don’t know where he is.”
Target’s mood changed in a flash. He scowled at Rex. “But I do know where he is! He’s in the other f*cking reality! And we just can’t get to him!”
Terry looked cautiously between the two of them, as Rex raised his hands and backed away apologetically.
Target’s angry expression trembled before he covered his face with his palms. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Rex approached him again and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “It’s okay. You’re upset,” he comforted.
“Terry,” Target said, peeking his head from his hands to look him in the eye. “He’s gone, Terry. Scott’s gone. He’s just gone.”
“‘In the other reality’...?” Terry muttered. “You mean... he swapped? Or...?” He trailed off, not entirely sure about the story that was being spun here.
Jeb shook his head. “Like, he’s gone, Ter. We had both of the Scotts in the same room at the same time. Then they were both gone. And we haven’t seen either of them in a week.”
Terry’s eyes widened. “Oh no,” he said again.
It was quiet as they all continued to stand in the entrance of Terry’s farmhouse. Thunder rumbled overhead and Terry glanced at the dark skies, as if he would be able to see something up there.
“Uh— you all better come inside.” He ushered them in, gently closing the door behind them. “It’s, uh, cold out. We’d be better talkin’ outta the breeze.”
They all settled themselves down in Terry’s living room-slash-dining room, but the air between them still remained cold. Rex picked at the threads of the cushions on the two-seater couch while Target and Jeb fidgeted in the two wooden chairs around the small dining table.
“Does—does anyone want, uh, some tea?” Terry offered, eager to break the tension and get to the conversation and explanations. “I don’t have coffee.”
“Sure.”
“Yes, please.”
“...Okay.”
Terry got moving. “Alright. Just a second...”
Jeb leapt to his feet. “I’ll help.”
“No, it’s fine.”
“I know where the mugs are.”
“I said it’s fine, Jeb.”
Silence fell again. Terry sighed. “Just— sit with Target,” he lowered his voice to a just-audible murmur. “He needs the comfort right now.”
With that, he turned and made his way to the small kitchen off to the side of the house to get himself busy with the drinks.
The Employee let out a long, miserable noise before his head hit the wooden table with a light thud, his forehead firmly planted on the surface while he continued to sit upright in his claimed chair.
“Are you alright?” Rex asked carefully.
“Of course I’m not alright,” he responded, voice muffled.
Rex sighed through his nose. “I meant—” He paused for a moment. “...Sorry.”
“He would know what to say to make me feel better,” Target sniffled. “He’s always so good at listening.”
Jeb jostled his shoulder lightly. “‘Listening’? Don’t you mean ‘talking’? He never stops!” He joked, keeping his tone semi-quiet and gentle.
Target let a shaky smile appear on his face, one that was obscured by still being faceplanted on the table. “Yeah? Well I know better.”
Miraculously, with Jeb’s joke, the mood lifted ever so slightly, causing the atmosphere to no longer be as overwhelmingly choking.
And then Terry returned, nervously fumbling the mugs as he passed them around to Rex on the couch and the two at the small table. Terry opted to stand.
“So... I just... What happened?” He asked bluntly.
***
Target watched Terry tap his foot and keep his arms crossed as he considered the story he’d just been told. The mugs of tea had cooled by now and were strewn around the table, varying from empty to barely touched.
“That’s a lot,” he finally said.
Jeb nodded slowly, lost in his own thoughts now.
Terry rubbed at his chin, looking away. “And we’ve heard nothing from them since then...” he mumbled. “It’s not looking good...”
Target scowled at him. “Why does everyone keep giving up? All we have to do is—is get a search party together. Print some missing posters. Maybe the V.A.G. can help!”
Terry shot him a doubtful look. “If he’s not shown up yet, he’s probably still in that other reality. If everythin’ was centering around his place, then that’s where he’d be.”
“We could have missed him,” Target stated firmly.
“You just told me you camped out there for the whole week! How would you miss him?”
“You never know!”
“For God’s sake— We don’t even know if he’s still alive!”
Target’s expression became icy. “Don’t say that.”
Rex looked between them in despair, unsure how to stop this argument without also making a promise he couldn’t keep.
“Well it’s true,” Terry huffed. “First thing I thought when you told me. Universe collapse stuff? Vanishing into thin air? He could have died! How would we know?”
“I didn’t see a body,” the Employee’s voice shook.
Terry sighed sadly. “That’s not...”
“All I’m saying is— there’s a chance.”
Rex ran a hand through his hair. “Target, you can’t...” he trailed off.
Jeb spoke up, “Target—”
“No! Listen... there’s a chance.”
Jeb kept his mouth shut.
“Think about it,” Target continued, beginning to pace over the floorboards. “We never heard ba— we haven’t heard back yet, right? But also... the universe didn’t collapse! Nothing bad happened to reality, which must mean that things worked out! So I just... Why hasn’t Scott come back yet...? There’s just gotta be something stopping him. I just don’t know what it could be...”
Jeb looked at him sadly.
Target continued, not paying attention to Jeb, “So my current theory is that... if he’s not in the other reality... maybe he came back, but he’s in the wrong place? Like y’know that thing they say about time travel where if you just move through time and not space, you won’t move with the Earth’s rotation and you just end up stuck in space? Something like that! And now he’s stuck in... Wisconsin or something.”
“...Wisconsin?” Rex asked slowly.
Target nodded enthusiastically. “Like I said: we just need to get some missing posters out there. We can find him. I know we can.”
There was a long period of silence.
“Okay,” Terry’s voice was quiet. “I’ll see what the V.A.G. can do for you.”
“Thank you, Terry.” Target smiled. “I’m not gonna give up on him.”
***
“I’m sorry, but we have been looking,” Police Employee said sternly, hat clasped in his hands. “You have to be patient with us.”
“But you haven’t found anything yet. And I’m just asking for updates, that’s not an unreasonable thing for me to ask for.” Target crossed his arms.
Police pinched his nose bridge. “Look, we are working on it. And the V.A.G. has been incredibly helpful joining our search efforts. There’s search parties, we have posters out, we even have those milk carton photos. We also have some of the guys working around Michigan, like you suggested. I know it’s hard, but... we just need to wait for results.”
Target sighed. “I know. I know that. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be pushy.”
“You’re anxious! I get it. I’m worried too, y’know? Don’t go calling it quits just yet, alright?”
The Police Employee nodded once before returning his police cap to his head and turning to walk away, back to his car, leaving Target still standing there in his apartment building’s parking lot.
‘Just wait.’ He was so tired of waiting.
Three weeks.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
He didn’t want to lose hope.
So much weighed on his heart. His argument with the guys from the other day was still fresh on his mind.
“He’s not even in this reality!” Jeb had finally snapped. “We can keep searching and searching, but what are we gonna find? Nothing! He’s not here!”
Target had responded way too harshly. He shouldn’t have. He really shouldn’t have.
And Rex and Terry and Jerry had been there. He’d pushed them away. He hadn’t spoken to any of them since.
He wanted to apologize.
Maybe Jeb had been right.
***
[JUNE 2024]
With hollow eyes, he looked out towards the small group in front of him. Not many people were here.
He had to look away, turning his gaze down to the lectern in front of him— to the microphone, to his scraps of lined paper— and picked at the gray sleeves of his suit.
Y’know, the last time he’d worn this suit, it had been for—
He cleared his throat. “Thank you all for coming today,” he announced. It sounded like he was choking on his vocal cords with how hard he was shaking. “It’s-it’s much appreciated. Very much appreciated.”
He was met with silence. Quiet eyes watching him.
“I wanted to-to take the time to...” He paused to cough. “To... remember.”
He had to look away again, and swept his line of sight to his left. Except now he was making eye contact with the large printed photo on its stand, ringed in flowers. He looked back towards the audience.
“S-so.... I-I invite you here today... to talk... to remember... to share our memories of Scott.”
The coffin behind him was empty of course.
***
The house key felt heavy in his pocket. Opening the door made him feel like a trespasser; an unwanted visitor despite his use of a key to enter.
The creaking of the door reverberated off the walls.
He wasn’t the first to violate the peace of this place. They’d stopped by last year to clear out the perishables. Last week a crew had come in to assess the place. Someone had looked around at all the furniture. Taken some. But apart from that... it was just him here, now.
Just him.
Target stared at the sticky note on the kitchen counter. Covered in dust, untouched since it was first placed there.
‘We stole some of your food. Sorry! We can replace it when you get back, promise. - J, T + R’
It was quiet. It was so damn quiet.
Footsteps echoed. More dust had settled in patches on the floor, cleared in some spots where it had been brushed away not that long ago.
Not all of the furniture was gone— some of it was still here. Standing in the basement, he could look towards Scott’s office space and imagine that he was back in a time where Scott was just moving in. The plant pots were gone, but all of his computer equipment remained. Bits and pieces stacked on the desk, waiting for whatever use Scott had planned for them. Yet, he turned and saw the missing TV, the missing coffee table, the couch moved.
It was up to him to decide where all this stuff was going.
He was the only person he trusted to do it.
His shaking hands brushed over the wood of Scott’s game shelves. A collection never completed. Grime stuck to his fingers. Scott would never let his games sit like this. He believed in playing these games, not just letting them sit and rot.
It was so overwhelming. Not all of these games could be kept, as much as he wanted to hang on to them all. Some would have to be sold, except... the only person who knew the... value of these things... wasn’t here anymore.
As he stared at the collection that was just gathering dust, he could swear he could faintly hear snippets of Scott’s voice, snatched from memories of all the time they’d spent together with Scott talking about his beloved hobby.
Slowly, his eyes dragged themselves towards the Wii games shelf. The Wii U games. His pride and joy. Abandoned.
He felt so lost.
The memory sticks around.
---
Canon, post-ending
Dominic wasn’t listening to Scott’s running commentary. They were sitting next to each other on the couch, with Scott talking animatedly to everyone in the room. Absently, the preoccupied man was leaning in slightly towards his microphone that was propped through the couch cushions as he did so. It was the usual hangout setup.
A normal evening.
But Dominic wasn’t really listening.
Not that it was Scott’s fault, obviously. His friend was trying to be engaging to everyone, the conversation was going strong... He just wasn’t really feeling up to it right now. But he decided to stay quiet, rather than speak up and kill the mood. Everyone else was having a good time; they weren’t moping for no good reason.
He tried to tune back in— he needed to get his act together. Finally, he began to follow along with the conversation again. At least for a while.
All at once, every ounce of attention in him was alert to the fact that there was something up with his nose. He sniffed.
He felt that cold trickle of liquid drop from his nostril.
He froze.
The thoughts in his brain became wheels spinning freely in the air as he didn’t know how to react for a moment.
Then, as fast as his brain had stopped, it got kicked into gear again and his shaking hand was swiping at his nose, seemingly faster than the erratic beats of his frantic heart.
He was deaf to anything else as his eyes focused on his hand.
Dominic let out one panicked breath, then two, then three.
It was just blood. It was red. Just red blood. Just a nosebleed.
A regular nosebleed.
He let out another few breaths, begging his heart to slow to a regular pace again and willing himself to just calm down.
He swiped at his nose a few more times, effectively smearing the blood everywhere but he just needed to get that feeling of the thick liquid droplet off his face right now or he was gonna lose it—
A hand shook his shoulder.
Everything rushed back to him. The world came into focus again.
And every pair of eyes in the room was staring straight at him.
Dominic glanced to his right. It was Scott’s hand on his shoulder, shaking him. The other’s eyes were wide in concern as a worried frown also creased his forehead. It took a second for the words that were coming from Scott’s rapidly opening and closing mouth to actually be processed by his ears.
“—me? Can you speak? Tell us what’s wrong?”
At Dominic’s lack of response, he hurriedly retracted his hand, as if he’d been burnt. “Sorry, am I not helping?”
Eric spoke up from his left, “Easy on the questions, that’s what’s not helping. But keep grounding him with the hand, that’s probably good.” He then placed his own hand on Dominic’s other shoulder.
He had to admit, the shoulder shaking was good, but he was still a little too rattled to form words just yet. He needed a minute.
Slowly, he took a few more breaths. His jaw worked soundlessly for a moment. “I’m okay. I’m alright,” he whispered.
“Are you sure?” Scott lowered his volume to match.
“I just... I need to be right back.” He stood abruptly and hurried away, trying to escape the concerned eyes that were all following him.
He blinked and suddenly he was in the bathroom. Water poured from the faucet, ready to be used to scrub the already drying blood from his face.
“It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head,” he repeated to himself.
“I say the same thing to myself.”
Dominic jumped like a startled animal and spun to face the speaker. Scott stood in the doorway with his hands raised.
“Sorry! Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Dominic placed a hand over his heart and breathed out.
“It’s true, though,” Scott continued. “I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve said that to my reflection recently.”
In response, he received a quizzical look.
Scott elaborated, “It’s true. I get... confused sometimes. And I just have to remind myself.” He looked away guiltily. “I know I should probably talk about it with everyone but... it just makes it all seem real again, you know? It’s like I want to pretend nothing ever happened.”
“But it did,” Dominic finally spoke up.
“But it did,” Scott repeated with a sigh. “I should really stop taking you guys for granted. We all went through shit and it’s selfish to keep on acting like everything is fine, you know? I... I haven’t even checked in on you all. And now look where we are.” Scott’s eyes darted to the rusty red water swirling in the sink.
“It’s been hard,” Dominic admitted. “I didn’t want to start opening up these fresh wounds, like you said. I figured it would be best to wait for someone else to start.”
Scott scrubbed his face with his fingers. “Yeah, well, we’re all dumb, stupid idiots so that was never gonna happen.”
Silence settled between the two for a short while. Dominic didn’t know what to make of the energy in the room. He tapped idly against the sink with his fingers as he considered bringing up what was really bothering him.
“You... saw how bad I got towards the end, right? I felt like... a character of myself. Like I was... Nurse Employee or something.”
Scott thought back, considering what Dominic had said. Come to think of it... he was right. He hadn’t questioned it at the time, but Dominic really had gone full ‘nurse mode’ as the Merge had drawn closer.
The look on his face must have given away his thoughts, because Dominic was already nodding. “And I just don’t know... like— what if it’s not over? And I start losing myself or something and no one notices again?”
Immediately, Scott felt terrible. Dominic was right— no one had noticed. They’d come so close to losing him and hadn’t even realized. “I’m so sorry.”
Dominic shook his head. “No, no, I’m not blaming you.”
“You really should.”
“But you couldn’t have known. Besides, we were a little more worried about you and Woz. We’d barely even delved into the possibility of the rest of us swapping with our characters. There just wasn’t time.”
“That’s no good reason for me to just... ignore everyone like this. Fine, there was no time during. But after? I haven’t talked to you at all! You’re my friend— it’s just not right of me to be acting like I have.”
Dominic sighed grouchily. He didn’t like Scott blaming himself like this.
Scott dragged his fingers down his face. “I’m getting everyone together. And we’re gonna talk, even if we all get as uncomfortable as we were when we first had to retell the whole story. And then... hopefully that can do us some good.”
“...I hope so,” Dominic breathed. “I’m not looking forward to that PTSD diagnosis.”
Woz has a hard day. Target keeps him company.
---
Canon
Woz blinked, shaking off the dizziness of the latest swap. He found himself returned to his own basement, seated in his favorite corner of his couch.
In the couch corner to his left, Target Employee looked up from the paper he’d been peering at, glasses slipping partway down his nosebridge. He was sitting comfortably in his white button-up shirt and red homemade sweater— it was one Terry had made for him out of some new, super soft vegan wool he had found. With big sleeves that became snug at the wrist and the Target logo stitched into the breast, it was simple, yet comfortable, and had quickly become a favorite for him to wear when he was out of uniform... Something that Woz had been trying to encourage more, lately. Paired with some light khakis and plain gray socks... Target had proudly announced to him that he had chosen a great new ‘uniform for relaxing’.
“What’s up?” He quizzed, scratching absently at the side of his nose and almost dropping the pencil that was balanced between his fingers.
Woz looked around the room, noticing immediately the scattered boxes of different board games and the in-progress Dots and Boxes sitting on the coffee table.
“What are we up to?” He asked, even though he’d already just worked it out.
“Oh! Hi,” Target greeted, a grin lighting up his face, now that he’d realized that his partner had returned. “Me ‘n Scott were just playing some Dots and Boxes. Do you wanna take over from him?”
Woz frowned. Honestly, he really would like to play a game right now. He could really use something like that to just unwind... But something that he could switch his brain off for. He didn’t want to do any more thinking right now.
Something must have shown on his face, because Target was already sending him a concerned frown before he’d even let out the heavy sigh he’d been building up in his lungs.
“I just don’t know, Targ. It’s been a long day...”
The other man looked at him sadly. “I’m sorry you had to miss out on our hanging out day.”
Woz scrubbed at his forehead with his fingers, sinking back into the couch cushions. A stray pencil poked him in his thigh.
Target tapped at his chin with his fingertips, thinking of how he could help his Scott with his troubles. He decided to start out easy.
“What happened?”
Woz sighed again. “Oh, you know... Scott stuff.”
He sat there chewing on his lip, while the Employee patiently waited for him to elaborate.
Woz began picking at his nails. “He had a thing scheduled. Like, a video call with some other YouTube people. Friends of his. Coworkers? But they were asking me questions that I wasn’t sure about and I just... There were only so many excuses I could toss out. I’m exhausted. And I was so stupid! One of my reasons for ‘not acting like myself’ was that I was sick. Then they offered to reschedule and I said no! I said it was fine and I could stick around but stay quiet... I’m so dumb. Why did I say that?!”
Target let a small smile appear on his face before he shook his head. “Well, it was very sudden. You can’t beat yourself up over making the wrong choice in what’s basically a split second decision.”
Woz groaned, dragging his hands down his face. “I guess... But then I also was stuck there doing that over spending precious time with you.”
Woz moved his hands away from his face to show Target the strongest kicked-puppy look that he could possibly muster.
“I’m sure Scott appreciates the help, at least,” Target hummed. “I know when I’m stocking shelves, it always feels good when a coworker comes along to help me out... Just working to help me without even asking. It’s great teamwork.”
“But what about our team?” Woz pouted.
Target lightheartedly rolled his eyes, standing to move himself over to Woz’s corner of the couch.
As soon as he’d sat down, Woz collapsed into his side.
“This all just has me so stressed out,” he mumbled, voice muffled as his face was pressed into the Employee’s sweater. “Too much think for brain. Urgh.”
“Well, that’s okay. You don’t have to do any thinking right now if you don’t want to,” Target smiled softly. “Let me know and I’ll just think for you.”
Woz smiled back, the crease on his brow easing up slightly. But he winced. “My brain is totally melting right now. And... well... I don’t want to get into details, but... I totally messed up more than the other thing. That wasn’t really what was stressing me out. It was this.” He buried his face more, embarrassed. “Oh, man... It was so bad...”
Target wrapped his arm around him, holding him tight. He moved his hand up and down his arm soothingly.
“You did the best you could,” Target reassured. “There’s no use dwelling on it, alright?”
“I guess...” Woz mumbled. “I still feel awful, though...” he admitted, grabbing on to Target with both arms, firmly attaching himself to the other man’s side. Target responded by squeezing him closer with his arm.
The Employee perked up suddenly. “I know what might cheer you up...”
Woz peeled himself away from the man’s side to look up at him curiously.
Target elaborated, “Terry stopped by. He had a gift for us both.”
In response, Woz’s eyes gleamed. “A gift?! What is it?”
The Employee picked him up to move him away so that he could stand again, walking over to where he’d been seated on the couch before. From around the arm of the seat, he picked up an opened white cardboard box and brought it back over, dropping it on the coffee table.
Woz jumped forwards immediately, sitting on the edge of his seat to rummage through the box for its contents. The soft texture waiting inside brushed his fingers and he pulled out a pair of matching sweaters. One red and one blue. Both had that same style of the one that Terry made previously for Target, with the big sleeves that were snug at the wrists and the form that was both well-fitting yet comfortably loose.
On the blue one, white wool had been used to stitch in a square outline on the chest, like a logo. The left sleeve was red at the end— the same red as the other sweater, whose right sleeve was that blue wool. The red one had white wool stitching, creating a circle on the front of this one.
Woz couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. Such a cheesy gift.
He loved it.
“I love it!” He enthused loudly, holding the blue sweater up high. “And Terry made these?”
“Yes, for us.” Target grinned. “So we match. Kind of.”
Woz quickly tugged off his current sweater, tossing it over the back of the couch. Eagerly he threw the new sweater on, immediately admiring how not-itchy it was.
“Wow, he was right about that new wool he was tellin’ me about...” he murmured.
“I know, right?” Target agreed, also swapping his sweater for the new red one. “I wanted to wait before I tried this on. How is it looking?”
The Employee stood and twirled a little with his arms sticking out.
Woz nodded slowly. “Cozy,” he stated. “How about me?” He showed off his own sweater, spinning on one foot and almost losing his balance.
Target laughed at him. “We should tell him how great these are.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Woz nodded. “I’m gonna wear this forever. It’s so warm...”
Unexpectedly, Woz jumped forwards and tackled Target, making the both of them land back on the couch.
“You have to sit with me now. I’m too cozy.” Woz grinned.
Target laughed, kicking the remote for the TV over using his foot. “I accept this.”
As soon as Woz had finished fiddling with the remote, Target dramatically spun himself sideways so that he was partway leaning over Woz’s lap, with his shoulders resting on the couch cushions of their little corner.
“Hey, that’s my move!” Woz smiled.
Target responded by wriggling. “This is how I feel when you attack me with your sharp, boney elbows.”
Woz giggled. “Yeah, well...”
He held on to Target Employee, looping his own arms under his boyfriend’s arms. He was already forgetting about how awful his day had been, thanks to the ever-joyful presence of his favorite person. He basked in the warmth of the moment as his eyelids slowly became heavier and the garbage show on the screen on the wall became background noise to his well-deserved sleep.
Scott thinks about... himself.
---
Canon, post-ending
His fingers drummed on the desk. A steady staccato rhythm of fingertips against wood. The headphones connected to the computer were dangling from his neck. The thick wire was annoying.
He swapped to tapping all of the fingers on his left hand against the edge of the keyboard as he lightly chewed on his lip.
Scott let out a sigh and massaged his forehead with his right hand, where a deep frown had been beginning to form.
Basically, he felt unsettled.
Of course, he’d been working on... getting over things since last July. Obviously. But that didn’t stop him from having quiet nights like these, where he couldn’t help but sit and think.
Everything that had happened... you didn’t forget stuff like that easily.
He scoffed. Scott doubted he would ever forget it at all. These were lifelong memories he was takin’ to his grave, here.
Now he was really frowning. Wow, Scott. Great choice of phrase, there!
Since he’d now annoyed himself, he removed the headphones from their resting place, tossing them down next to the computer. He could edit this episode later, he had time.
Slowly, he took a calming breath and cracked his back, feeling the tiredness set in. Well, it was getting kind of late now. He might as well just... completely wrap up for the night.
He glanced at the video timeline on the screen, staring at it for a moment.
This is something he had done a year ago, on that night.
Slowly, almost unconsciously, he scrolled backwards to a frame where he had been sitting at the desk.
For a short while, he made eye contact with the still image of himself, and allowed himself to feel... sad.
His heart quickly became heavy with grief.
Scott wished he’d had more time to make up for things. The closure he had gotten was so... small. So small. Definitely not enough time for him to make up for everything, either.
He let out another sigh, long and drawn-out.
“Sorry,” he whispered. He hoped his sentiment reached its intended recipient.
Quickly, he closed Final Cut, shut off the Mac, and leaned back in his chair, looking at the ceiling.
He’d kind of accepted things now, at least. Hell— he’d already been accepting things before it had even ended. There’d been a lot of... revelations.
Like, he knew now that he wasn’t the real Scott.
No, the real guy was out there in some other universe doing— whatever he was doing. He was never sure about the specifics, except for the fact that some things that happened to him didn’t happen to that other guy.
...Like the head injury, for example. That was the big one.
Scott fidgeted.
He had spent all those months resenting Woz for being ‘less’ than him; for being ‘just his character’... and then, well, turns out he was also a character. A character in some story that was way beyond his admittedly tiny perspective of the universe.
He had never been more than what Woz had been. He had never been ‘in charge’, like he had thought. Even now, he cringed at his actions, from when he had believed in his own lie of his godlike-status. He was just a character who thought he was real.
Someone else had been pulling the strings for the entirety of his story, all the while he’d been thinking he was the one controlling the puppets.
Oh, how he’d had the rug pulled out from under him...
Good.
He had been angry. And selfish. And mean.
Of course he had ended up in a tale full of events that didn’t happen in real life. Of course an impossible thing like jumping through realities had actually happened— because this was a storybook world! Crazy things happened in stories. He’d been disillusioned from the start.
Still... that didn’t mean anything now. Not anymore. The final paragraph had been written. The last page had been turned...
Now it was either time for the sequel, or time for the kid reading the bedtime story to imagine what happened next, after the end of the story.
Here, in this story, things went back to normal— barring all of that trauma stuff he was working on.
Scott doubted anything crazy like that would happen again, and he was probably right. His story was over now. There wasn’t a need for anything more outlandish to happen in his life.
So... time to finish his character development.
Scott shook his head. Man, he was getting way too caught up in all these thoughts! He laughed breathily to himself and drummed on his legs. Honestly? He liked the idea of thinking of himself as... ‘used to be a character’. His life was in his hands now. Time to make the right choices, and all that.
He hoped the real Scott was doing okay out there, and hoped that the next Scott to be created in a branching reality of the real one didn’t witness too many horrors!
Also, better not tell any of his friends that they were currently living in one o’ those branching realities... That information was probably best kept to himself...
Scott found himself rubbing at the back of his head, where his scar was.
Wow... it really was January again.
New year, new me.
He smiled.
Time to get ready for whatever life was gonna throw at him. Maybe he would even go to a convention this year.
“2024. This is gonna be my year,” he said to himself sarcastically as he stood up from his chair.